Categories
Life

What I Learned from 2 Weeks Without Internet

Photo by Nathan Cowley on Pexels.com

A few years ago, we lost our internet connection. At first, I was beyond pissed. When your passion and your income relies on the internet, it is incredibly frustrating to lose that connection. While I relish my mornings and evenings spent away from my phone and all things social media, and absolutely revel in my time spent without the use of wifi at the lake, having it snatched away from me was awful. Then I realized that I was feeling angry and frustrated and annoyed, not because my family or I were having any health issues or problems, but because I didn’t have the internet. That’s it. The internet.

That thought caused me to think about our absolute dependence on this. I’m on my phone quite a lot, but not near as much as most others (at least, according to magazine and newspaper articles touting our complete dependence on phones, right up until bed). My weekend mornings rarely start with my phone and I try to end my evenings with, at least, an hour free of screen time (that means the TV, too). *I wrote this post a long time ago, and since then, lots has changed. I’ve been using my phone, and TV, a lot more to wind down since having a child, probably hitting close to that range those magazines and newspaper articles have*

But, I was still completely dependent on my phone, even without total access to the internet. I would pick it up to check it, even though I knew no notifications were coming through. I’d absentmindedly open up Instagram or Pinterest to scroll through, only to realize that I was ripping through my data like nobody’s business. And, I needed to keep that data for my blog and my work. Working from home doesn’t exactly work so well when you can’t work from home. It’s just not the same to have to scoot on over to a friend’s house, or even make myself into a cliché in Starbucks, writing away on my laptop. Or, even scarier, a notebook and pen.

But, I got used to it. The first thing I noticed during my short time without wifi was that data turned back into something precious. Does anyone remember when phone plans didn’t come with text messaging? You got, maybe, 25 a month and that was considered a lot? You would then only have the smallest amount of data available to you, and that was saying a lot about your financial status as a lot of people still didn’t have a ‘smartphone’ aka pretty much any phone nowadays. No? No memories? Well, if you’re too young to remember this, our constant need to have our phones on us wasn’t normal and there were a lot more payphones around. Phone calls came through more often than a text message. Social media was something you’d log into on your home computer, and internet access wherever you went was only for those in Gossip Girl. Blackberry messenger eventually came along and changed the ways of texting, but data was still beyond precious. And, this is what I reverted back to.

No longer would I turn on Google Play, not caring if I was burning through my data on my plan (seriously, where did the unlimited data plans go?!). I didn’t have wifi at home so, now, every song was costing me money. Opening my phone in a vehicle didn’t seem so important anymore (the tickets and fines and death commercials don’t get you, but the fact that you’ll have to pay $5 more in data will…I’m ashamed of myself and society), and neither did taking my phone out when I was with friends or my husband.

It may have only been a few days into it, but I was already seeing a difference in my life as absolutely absurd as that sounds. I did a lot more things I thought I ‘didn’t have time for’ and my husband and I busted out the good ol’ DVD player and re-watched some classics. Who needs Netflix when you have boxes of DVD’s, complete with Undergrads, Clone High and the Golden Girls?  Our dependence on our smartphones and tablets and internet connection is crippling us. Having to forego the convenience in which we’ve become accustomed gets a little tiring, but then it also gets better. Yeah, it took a little longer to set things up just to watch a show or movie and we had to find cables that were finely coloured in dust, but it took only a day or two to get back into the old routine of things. And, I really liked it.

The most enlightening part of those weeks wasn’t that I was dependent on my phone (I knew that), but it was the fact that I never truly noticed how I felt when I was constantly connected. Now that I wasn’t, my mind felt clearer, I felt better, and I learned how to read for more than 10 minutes. I used to read a book a week, at least. My closet, living room, bedside table, and any other imaginable surface – including floors – is littered with books. While I still love reading, it has become harder to concentrate on anything longer than a page or two. Once I cleared my mind of quick reads and always googling to see what one word meant or who that actor was years ago, I could concentrate for longer.

I felt more free, as ridiculous as that sounds, and could think better. Hell, I could write better. Because I had to write. I couldn’t ignore my writing just because Instagram gave me a notification. I could let my mind wander and let the creativity blossom and come to me. Letting your mind wander can do wonders if you’ve ever gotten stuck and can’t figure out a problem, or have writer’s block, or just don’t know what your piece of artwork needs. That’s why taking a walk to ‘clear your head’ works. You’re letting go of all the stimulus around you and just letting your mind breathe.

We’ve let something that seemed so trivial, that people had once thought was a fad, become so ingrained in our life we feel empty without it. Phones are clutched to the chests of people while they sleep, afraid to let them go like they’re security blankets. They’re whipped out in the line at the grocery store, heaven forbid we have to wait more than 10 seconds without being entertained. This was another favourite part of this whole impromptu experiment. I loved to just sit and wait in line, watching the people around me, most of them with their noses to their screens, not paying attention to anyone or anything around them. I always tried to keep my phone in my purse while in line at the grocery store because I didn’t want to be that dick in line, holding people up or looking like a complete arse. Engaging with people around you, even if it’s just to smile at them, is so much better than making sure you sent that e-mail from the office, or double-checking nothing else exciting happened on social media.

I’ve been ragging quite a big on social media in this post, and that’s not what this is about. There are tons of things wrong with social media, but there are tons of things right. I love it for getting inspired for DIY creations, for places to travel, on just seeing pretty images floating by. And, by pretty, I means cats. So many animals on my feed. I love reading blog posts and hearing other people’s ideas and thoughts and rants and views on the world. I rub my hands together gleefully when I come across a particularly controversial article, keeping myself from skimming through just so I can get to the comments section at the bottom and read the complete chaos that always ensues. Maybe I’m a masochist. Who knows.

Social media isn’t the enemy, but how we use it, and our dependence on it is. I read an article a while back about how children under 5 shouldn’t have more than one hour of screen time a day. And, the article repulsed me. Not because of the writer’s words or that people were being told to tone down the screen time, but because we HAD to be told. For children. Not even middle school kids or teenagers, but children UNDER 5 YEARS OF AGE. Doesn’t that seem a bit ridiculous to you? That we’re handing our babies, our toddlers, tablets and phones and telling them to watch videos and play on a screen instead of outside or with simple objects around them. That we’re not letting them use their imagination to play and grow and learn. That we’re not thinking about the repercussions this is having on our children even though we hear countless things about how we, as adults, shouldn’t have screentime before bed, it affects this and that and that and this. If you want to read the article, click here.

*Update as a parent: my child actually DOES watch more than an hour of TV a day most days. BUT we also do all of the things above that I listed. We’ve become mindful of our screen time, in that I don’t limit myself, or her, in how long we watch it, but I watch it deliberately. Me reading (or, updating this post), while she watches TV in the morning and we both have our coffees – hers just plain oat milk with whipped cream, of course – is one of my favourite times of the day. While I’m not as shocked as I was about screen time before having kids, I’m still incorporating the play, the creativity, the outside, the FUN I had as a child*

If it’s affecting how their brains grow, then what is it doing to us? Just two weeks and I felt better, my mind felt clear and I more able to take on tasks. And, that’s just two weeks. I still used my phone, I didn’t revert back to the Stone Age, but I ignored it for most of the day.  My goal was to continue in this same fashion once we got our internet back, but only a week after it was back I was checking my phone more often, scrolling through Instagram while watching TV, and constantly feeling the need to be connected. Because like anything addicting, you get a rush when you start up again, lying to yourself that you’ve got it all under control. If you don’t believe me that your phone, the internet, social media is addictive, then put down your phone and count the number of times you reach for it.

If children’s screen time needs to be measured and monitored, then shouldn’t ours? I don’t need a study to tell me that excessive screen time is bad, I learned it. I know it. If I’m on my phone for extended periods of time, I will usually start to get a migraine. This means that excessive screen time affects my neurological condition. There are most likely other factors related to why I’m getting the migraine, as it doesn’t happen instantly, but I know that too much TV, too much time on my tablet, phone or computer can be a trigger for my neurological condition. I’m not a doctor or any health professional and can’t tell you that for certain. But, damn. Read those sentences, again.


Maybe it’s time we looked up from our phones and took in the world around us. I promise you, experiencing it in the moment rather than on social media is so much better.

Categories
Toddler Favourites

Toddler Favourites

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Some links are part of the Amazon affiliate program, and if you buy something from the link, I will make a bit of money.

Go Coconut Play Couch
I absolutely love this thing. I was super excited to buy my daughter one as it looked so fun, and it’s come in handy so many times! We both sit on it when we play on the floor, it’s been used as a makeshift bed when we were trying out a floor bed before buying a full frame (and would be perfect for any sleepovers or mini guests!), my daughter loves to climb all over it, it’s been used as a tunnel and fort set-up, and now it is sitting in the corner of our living room, set up like a little chair, perfect for adults and children alike to sit and read or play on.

We’re not millionaires, so we only bought a half coconut, which has been great! Do I wish we could have had a full one, complete with the fun extras? Yes. If you can afford it, go for it all! But, if you’re wondering if even spending a few hundred bucks on a play couch is worth it, just do the half. Still tons of fun and so useful – without fully breaking the bank.

Oh, and it’s Canadian, so yay! Shop here.

Pikler
I saw one of these on Instagram and thought how ridiculous it was that someone had this in their living room…and then, my daughter got older and I realized how amazing it is to have a tiny climbing structure for her to play on and get her energy out – especially in the winter months. We’re building a kind of playground downstairs so that when we get snowed in, we won’t lose our minds.

Anyways, this is the pikler we have and we love it!

Toddler Cushion
We have a pretty low table (the plain pine table from IKEA), so she outgrew her Stokke Clikk high chair quicker than she should have. Her knees started hitting the table and didn’t look very comfortable, at all. So, we bought her a little cushion, in this super cute design, to put as a booster seat for her on a regular ‘big girl’ chair. It’s perfect! Easy to wipe clean, and the cover can be washed.

Indestructible Water Bottle
At first, I thought it was a bit much spending over $20 on a water bottle for my 1 year old, but it turned out to be the best thing. She has thrown that thing all over the place, and yet, it’s still looking fine! Yes, a couple of dents, but they’re small and at the bottom, and the function is a-okay. I didn’t want a plastic bottle, and love that it’s stainless steel.

Mega Blocks
My daughter got a pack a of these for her birthday and she absolutely loves them! They’re easy for little hands and do not hurt if stepped on, like Lego does. Buy them here.

Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site
A bedtime favourite in this house. It’s fun to read, long, without being too long, and my daughter loves it. One of our favourite books, for sure!

Also, need another book recommendation? What about the one that I wrote and my friend illustrated! Check it out here. And, buy a copy, if you want to be cool.

Magnetic Tiles
These things are seriously cool. I love playing with them, my uncles love playing with them, any engineer will love playing with them. Most importantly, toddlers love them. They’re also perfect for road trips as you can fit them into a small bag and they stick to one another. Buy them here.

Fat Crayons
I got these fat crayons at Zellers (a Canadian staple that needs to come back fully, not just a small pop up!), and they’re perfect for little hands. For those worried about what the crayons are made out of, these look great! I haven’t tried them, as the price tag is a liiiitttle more than I care to spend (and I already spent more than I needed to on crayons in a children’s store in Antibes), but for those with the right budget, something a little better for everyone sounds lovely.

Crayola also makes these egg shaped crayons that are perfect for little hands that aren’t yet sure as to how to hold a pencil or a crayon properly just yet. Perfect for scribbles and learning fun. These were in my daughter’s stocking last year and they’ve lasted a loonnng time!

Categories
migraine life

How to Handle a Migraine Mid-Flight

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I’m not a medical professional, just a migraineur who has suffered through the agonizing feeling of getting a migraine in an airplane. Always consult a doctor on any medical advice.

Yay, your bags are packed and you’re ready. But, your body has different ideas. This article lists basically lists everything that happens on an airplane and during travel as the general top 10 triggers for migraineurs. Honestly, it’s a miracle anyone feels good after any long-haul flight.

Until very recently, I’ve been lucky enough to make it to my destination feeling dry and tired, but overall fine. While I do usually get a migraine the day after travel (stress, dehydration, not eating at the right times), I don’t usually get one on the flight. It’s so much easier to deal with a migraine when you’re on the ground than it is when you’re mid-flight and I hope none of you sufferers out there ever have to, but here are some of my tips for keeping yourself sane while your brain melts.

Keep yourself hydrated. Keeping hydrated is important for everyone on a flight and it’s doubly important if you’re a migraineur. Keep yourself hydrated! Don’t worry about going into those small bathrooms to pee 30 times in a flight (funny, coming from me, someone who tries not to use those bathrooms if I can help it), just drink the water and lots of it. 

Bring a reusable water bottle and have the flight attendants fill it right to the top when they come by with the drink carts; this will make it easier for you to not run out of water on the flight and will cut down on those silly, tiny plastic cups being used. In premium or first class? Drinks come much faster in these cabins, especially alcoholic ones. If you’re drinking during your flight, add a water, or two, in between each adult beverage.

Ask for ice. While you may have packed an ice pack in your carry-on or checked baggage, you can’t really just pop it into the fridge or freezer and grab it when you need during a flight. But, you can totally ask the flight attendant to bring you a bag of ice, or if they’re equipped, an ice pack from the first aid kit. Explain to them that you have a migraine and don’t feel ashamed for using the call button (me, that’s me. I’m the one who feels guilty and ashamed summoning a busy flight attendant): this is what that button is there for!

Bring ear plugs and an eye mask. Maybe you just have a small migraine and you can nip it in the bud, you’re nearly ready to land, or you’re just being proactive. Bring those ear plugs and an eye mask to keep out the dreaded noise and light and keep your brain happy…er…content. These are two of my favourite travel accesories for the plane, migraineur or not. You never know if there will be a loud talker or some asshat playing their video without headphones near you. 

Grab a ginger ale because you’re going to need it. Even if you don’t get sick during a migraine, chances are you will on a flight. Turbulence sneaks up on you and even the slightest bumps can exacerbate your pain and make you feel queasy. Grab a ginger ale to calm your stomach down. It may not kill it, but it’ll help tame the beast. Or, it should. Migraines really have a mind of their own.

Don’t be afraid of the bathrooms. I hate airplane bathrooms. I refuse to use them on short-haul flights, peeing as much as I can right before we leave (sorry, not sorry pelvic floor therapists). But, when it comes to long-haul flights, there’s nothing you can do to escape them. I don’t like small spaces, so being crammed into a tiny vestibule that sounds like it’ll suck you out of the plane when you flush the toilet isn’t at all helpful. Add in the fact that a gross amount of people have used that bathroom before you…ugh. Unfortunately, if you’re going to vomit, you gotta get the fuck out of that seat and into a tiny airplane bathroom.

Squatting down so as not to touch anything around you is a maneuver that will feel easier the third or fifth time you vomit. Worried about space? There may be a roomier bathroom at the back of the plane for you to check out. And, you’ll be hidden from concerned and annoyed patrons of the plane, wondering why someone has been in the bathroom for over half an hour. Bring your ice, vomit as you need to, and rest. 

I did this on the flight, just reveling in the close proximity to the toilet, and being able to stand or lean in a way that made my head feel better. A flight attendant came to check on me a few times, which made me feel safe and guilty all at once. Not a single passenger rapped on the door or was lined up outside. Another point for choosing the bathroom at the back. 

Tell someone. No one wants to find someone passed out in a bathroom, especially on a plane. Tell your seat-mate, even if you’re not friends, tell a flight attendant that you’re not feeling well (they will probably assume and ask once they see you with ice, a ginger ale and tears streaming down your face). My lovely flight attendant squired me into the larger bathroom and checked up on me every so often to make sure I was still alive.

Grab one of those stupid, tiny plastic cups. If landing is a bitch, and of course it will be if you’ve a migraine, chances are good you’ll feel sick — again. While there are puke bags in the seat, I found that a drink cup worked perfectly well since I had nothing left in my system. Have both ready before you even feel sick as just-in-case precautions.
I ignored my eco-friendly mind-set and grabbed a drink in a plastic cup on my flight home solely so I would have it in case I got sick.

Categories
TV & Books

I’m so Glad Rory Gilmore – Finally – Failed

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Can we talk about how creepy it is that the entire town of Stars Hollow was so in love with Rory that we, basically, forgot about every other kid that lived there? How was she such a beloved character while being, honestly, not that noteworthy? While smart, she wasn’t gifted. She studied her ass off all the time, which just makes you good at studying. She read A LOT. I can relate to her always carrying a book around, but I still never read as much as Rory did in a single week. She was awkward as can be, and while decently good-looking, not an all-out stunner.

I know, get the Burn Book out, but hear me out. We’ve watched season after season, somehow delighted in a show full of angst — both teenage and adult — watching as the town dotes on a girl that has, really, not much going for her. There is nothing incredibly exciting about Rory Gilmore, and yet, everyone was expected to be in love with her and bow down to her every move. She never held a job, only helping out from time-to-time at her mother’s Inn. She rarely joined in any extra-curriculars, and actually took an absolute fit about it at her fancy prep school when she was forced to. The most exciting thing about her, growing up, was that she knew pretty much every movie ever made, which is actually something that she got/was forced upon from her mom.

She seems like a regular ol’ introvert kid, just hoping to get out of her tiny town and into a big University where studying and smarts is supposed to be seen as the normal. She’s just a pretty smart kid, if she stuck to the track and didn’t think she was better than the rest, could’ve been extremely successful in life.

Some may have been crestfallen right along with Rory, that she didn’t make it as a big-time reporter, that she wasn’t a running writer for the New Yorker, that she wasn’t even a columnist for any local paper. When Mitchum Huntzberger told her she didn’t have what it took to make it to the top, we all shouldn’t have been surprised. Not because he’s an asshole, which I guess he kind of was, but because what makes her so special that she sure beat out all the rest of the candidates? All of the other women and men who worked their asses off to get to the same position, but probably did it with more pizzazz and oomph than she ever did? She has no discernible features or qualities, no wowing personality. She’s simply a reasonably hard-worker who wants to be a writer.

I’ll tell ya, there’s a long line of those.

Instead of taking the time to look into herself and wonder why someone, who is incredibly successful in the business she hopes to one day break into, wouldn’t think that she has what it takes, she spirals out of control. Her mother, a woman with her own insane faults, takes an absolute fit and blames everything that Rory does thereafter on Huntzberger. Because, like we’ve been taught throughout the show, how could anyone say Rory wasn’t gifted? That she wasn’t made for the big time newspapers? Lorelai goes further than any proud parent of their child, believing that Rory is different than anyone else, that maybe she has to be different because Lorelai, herself, is nothing special.

To be fair to Rory, if you’ve lived your whole life having people sing your praise just for walking down the damn street, then you’ll probably be thrown off-kilter when someone tells the truth: yes, you’re smart and talented, but it’s not enough, there are thousands of others just like you. She could’ve had a few days to wallow and cry, get that out of her system, and then make a plan and figure out just how she was going to be successful. Just what she was going to do to prove Mitchum wrong. Taking a fit and quitting Yale isn’t quite the route to making it. When the reboot of Gilmore Girls came around, I breathed a happy sigh of relief when Rory wasn’t off doing whatever she wanted, successful to the letter.

Not only was I still chafed at the fact that she turned Logan down when he proposed (contrary to everyone’s belief, you can get married and still have goals and a career), as he was clearly the best of the boyfriend’s she had. Dean was an absolute douche. Jess, though a mess, would’ve been the only other suitable companion for her, obviously. Besides the fact that she couldn’t figure out her love life, I was still mad at the fact that she was made to be so wonderful.

Things just seemed to fall into her lap. Her grandparents paid for her to attend a prep school, then they paid for her to go to her college of choice. Her struggles felt in the reboot made Rory’s life seem more real, more normal. She wasn’t being coddled by the world, like she had been by her mother, her grandparents, and the entirety of Stars Hollow. She, finally, had to go out there and make it on her own. And, guess what? She realized that it’s kind of hard out there for someone who wants to be a writer, even harder for that someone who thinks that that type of work should just fall into her lap, tied together with a pretty bow.

Doyle and Paris? You knew they were going places. They had the type of personalities that people either loved or hated, but you still respected. Though I loved watching Rory grow up as I grew up, myself, I didn’t hold any respect for her. Maybe because she didn’t seem to actually respect anyone around her. Maybe because everything was handed to her, yet she whined that she wasn’t like the trust fund kids she went to school with. Hell, maybe it was just because I was jealous that her life seemed so perfect. Whatever it was, my thirst for revenge was sated when real life crept in and Rory Gilmore, finally (finally!), realized she needed to figure things out on her own.

Categories
travel

The Cannes Film Festival Pavilion: a Disappointment in Itself

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When you think of the Cannes Film Festival, you think of glitz, glamour, and all things beautiful. You have a certain expectation that when you — finally! — get to Cannes you’ll have a magical moment where you just know Ryan Gosling will walk out of a gorgeous yacht and claim his love for you. Alas, this isn’t the case. My last girl’s trip to France ended up with our schedule nearly right on top of the film festival; we tried to go for the film festival, but the timing was off and the hotel prices were exuberant. Still. Cannes is beautiful anytime you go. But, with a film buff in our crew, we just had to go out and see the film festival pavilion — they were even starting to set up when we arrived! — but…we had actually already been there the night before….

Because, it’s just a pavilion.
Legit. There’s no red carpet (obviously, not obviously), no champagne flowing 24/7, no glitz, no glamour. There were, of course, tons of beautiful yachts moored in the marina, but no Ryan Gosling. Strike 1.

You can easily miss it
Because it’s legitimately just a pavilion, it’s easy to miss the damn thing. Taking a stroll in our evening’s finest (see pretty short dresses and heels and/or converse. Our signature girls in our 20s look) after a delicious meal of the best duck I’ve ever had (ask anyone; I won’t shut up about it), we decided to check out the water and walk along the marina, pretending to ourselves that the yacht at the end is ours, dahling. So, unbeknownst to us, we walked the great Cannes Film Festival Pavilion, drunk on champagne and pure happiness, and then headed back to our hotel — excited to check out the amazing Cannes Film Festival Pavilion the next day. Strike 2.

There are no celebrities
I mean, duh. The festival wasn’t on. But, still. You just expected something exciting to happen and to have someone just strolling about — perhaps George Clooney having a cup of Nespresso on a terrace or on his yacht. Anything, really. All you get is some rocks, some yachts, a kind of ugly building, and a disappointing taste in your mouth. Strike 3.

Most monuments and pictures (the Mona Lisa, anyone?) never do what the movies and novels and general public have hyped it up to be. There are tons of disappointing things to see in the world, and it may seem like a waste of time, but at least you can say you were disappointed at the Louvre. Or, that you were at a really old building that’s falling down (Pisa). And, that’s something, I guess.

Categories
Life

Giving up on Gardening Means Giving up on Myself

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The last few years out in the garden have been rough. We’ve been experiencing a drought and with that comes many, many grasshoppers. I’ve had small sink holes open up in my garden from too dry dirt. I’ve had harsh rains, coming in bursts and then not again for days or weeks, spattering seeds out of their little soil homes. I’ve had those damn grasshoppers eat anything that I was feeling proud of, anything that withstood the harsh realities that is now the world.

Right now, my attention has been torn from the screen to my yard as I watch hundreds of black birds swirl around to land on the ground and eat all of the bugs that have plagued this garden for years. I am thankful for them as they munch, having a little feast. Only days before I was ready to spray my yard with every known chemical and then light it on fire just to make sure the grasshoppers would be gone.

Of course, that wouldn’t truly work. At least, not in the long run. If it did, we wouldn’t have pesticide resistant bugs out there ruining the landscape. Also, I’d kill all of the good bugs and birds and animals that I want to hang out in my yard. The ones that make an entire ecosystem and keep everything running, even the annoying ones.

Every year I’ve thought about just scrapping the garden altogether, and not worrying about such a pain in my ass. And, every year it feels like I’m losing a part of myself.

Throughout the years of gardening, I’ve become more attuned to the natural world, feeling the temperature and weather changes as my soil, my plants, and the animals react. Pressure changes have always brought about migraines for me, but now I feel connected to the world around me. I want to add more to my yard, not take things away. I want to feel even more connected every time I walk outside.

So, I’ve begun making my yard a thing of an oasis. I’m focusing on practices that actually help, both my yard, and myself. A pond for waterfowl to come play and splash around. The sound of frogs and toads singing in the night lulls me to sleep, as does the knowledge that these guys love to eat grasshoppers and will be munching away. My stress eases as I know that nature is taking care of me.

Trees, planted, carefully watered, some causing tears when they don’t make it through the winter or the hot summer months, provide shade and a place to play for myself, animals, and my daughter. I feel their giving warmth, yet coolness, in protecting us.

A meadow, trying its best, some parts flourishing, through the harsh conditions that have been dealt, giving beauty when there isn’t much to be found elsewhere. Bright blooms pop out of the dry earth when nothing else will.

I remind myself that this already exists and that animals, and insects flock here. I have two ducks I eagerly await to splash land into my pond every spring, and worry along with them when they lay their eggs, hoping they won’t get eaten by any predators. Geese love to chat in the yard, in the pond, on the roof. Owls screech or hoot in the trees. Hawks take watch, perched on hydro poles or tree tops. It’s all here, but the extras, the veggies and flowers, may need a little tweaking to bring back to the yields and harvests I’m used to. That the world is used to.

Changing my planting habits, reminds me to pivot in life. That, when something doesn’t work out a time or two, maybe it’s time to try something new. And, that’s okay. Plants are more resilient than we give them credit. While they won’t all make it in their normal habitats or planted in the same old ways, they can adapt and change and sprout when you least expect them to.

Mushrooms, those beauties that have made my body feel better, connect the entire world together. We’re only just realizing the greatness that they hold. They’ve yet to enter my garden on a permanent basis, but I can’t wait to welcome them with open arms.

While I’ve been toying with the idea of relaxing in the summer instead of worrying, stressing, and working, it won’t happen. Even as I tell myself, every fall, that I don’t need to plant as much next year, I know come January when I order seeds, I won’t be listening to that voice. I can’t. I can’t let a part of me go so easily, a part of me that grows with nature and the world around us. A part of me that grows every year as my little seeds start to sprout and take form. Because, without a garden, I’ll lose a part of myself.

Categories
travel

So you Want to Get a Tattoo Abroad

Tattoos, depending on the person you’re asking, can be awesome; self-expressive; cliché; or sinful. They used to be a controversial subject, but now they barely faze those who would usually oppose. And, more than ever, they’re being viewed as a way to have a lifelong souvenir from those trips we took when we were young. But, getting a tattoo while on your trip may seem like a good idea, until you end up in a shady establishment.

My first tattoo I ever got was abroad (actually, all my tattoos have been done while out of the country) and was done sort of on a whim. I was planning on getting one on my month-long journey through Europe (the obligatory trip during University), but like every smart University-aged adult, did absolutely no research on shops until I arrived in London. We had a bit of free time one day so I quickly googled places on my phone, decided on one that looked okay and set out on my way to get my very first tattoo.

I didn’t call, I didn’t e-mail, I just decided to show up. A lot of you are probably shaking your heads at the stupidity, and I’m right along with you. Especially when we, finally, found the place. This parlour was located in an alleyway, tucked away behind shops and cafés with people hanging about (granted, they didn’t look very scary, but groups of people in alleyways always give off that sort of vibe, don’t they?). I felt nervous, I kept thinking that this was crazy, my friend was wondering what we were even doing; still, we had come all this way, why not look inside? Surprisingly, the establishment was immensely clean, the artists were professional, and I was actually able to get a walk-in appointment for my 10 minute tattoo.

The guy at the counter and I chatted briefly about what I wanted, quickly drew up a sketch and we were in business. The guy who did my tattoo seemed polite, but said about three words to me, half-watched a WWII documentary, finished quickly and out we went. When we saw two girls walking towards the shop with the same stressed out look we had, I smiled to my freshly red and angry looking foot and knew that they’d be pleasantly surprised. I knew that happening on a shop that was clean, professional, and had a walk-in spot open within an hour was some sort of a miracle. There are tons of places in my own city that I wouldn’t think of entering without extensive research, but somehow, when I was out in a foreign city, all of the smart senses escaped me and the giddiness of doing something so wild and fun took over.

So, how do you get a tattoo abroad and ensure no regrets?

Research.

Research is key when it comes to anything new. You wouldn’t just buy a house without checking out the ‘bones’ and making sure that there aren’t any surprises in store for you. The same idea goes when getting a tattoo done, especially when abroad. Although my story turned out wonderful (see Hermes enjoying the sun, above), there are plenty more where tattoos haven’t healed properly and infections set in.

Standards may not be set the same as in your home-country, and although upsetting when the time comes, it isn’t on the country to take care of you, but rather, it’s on you to make your own responsible decisions. A quick google search can tell you everything you need to know about the top tattoo parlours in any city you are planning to visit. Do this BEFORE your trip, I urge you! Checking out pictures of the place, read reviews.

Searching around for places on your phone a day in advance can end up with you getting frustrated when all the good places are booked and you may end up settling for a place that really shouldn’t be in business. Instead of settling, save up again and book another trip, getting that tattoo on your next trip abroad — after tons of research. I mean, finding an excuse to travel isn’t hard, now is it? Find a few places that you like the vibe of, that have great reviews, and have artists that can help you. Once you find that golden tattoo artist, have a very open conversation about what you want and what they can do. Remember that large tattoos with intricate details can take hours, or days, so unless you’re spending weeks on end, think about if the next tattoo you’re getting (or the first one) should be reserved for home.

Converse. Again and Again.

The person who will know what will work best? The tattoo artist. This is why they get paid; this is what they do for a living and they’ve seen it all. You don’t want to be arguing with them about what design will fit where (obvious tip: if you have a very petite frame, don’t expect an intricate design to fit on your ankle when it should really fit on your back). Instead, begin by e-mailing what you are thinking of (even if it includes pictures from the internet) and on what part of your body you’re hoping it will go on, about what would look good, and how the sizing will filter out. You’ll be able to go back and forth and request a sketch of your tattoo to make any necessary changes before you head to the airport. You want to be able to see, or read, your tattoo for years to come, not look at a blob on your wrist. If you want things smaller (like I did with my wrist tattoo, above), but have to settle for slightly bigger, make sure that you’re okay with that.

If you’re feeling that, because of the larger size, it doesn’t look good on the space, think about moving it or abandoning the idea altogether. Maybe make this last one before you’re sitting down in the chair, needle at the ready. But, don’t be afraid to speak up to your artist; they understand that this a life choice and that you need to feel comfortable with the decisions you are making and how the tattoo will be turning out. Believe it or not, people have actually stopped halfway through a tattoo, changing their minds. That is not the place to stop. Could you imagine if I had stopped my tattoo at the first ‘over’? I made my last guy move the stencil three times, solely because I didn’t like the exact position that it was in — even though I had stated that’s where I wanted it in the first place. Annoying? Probably. Worth the re-positioning and not staring at a huge mistake every day of my life? Absolutely. Besides, if you’re getting to be a huge stickler, just tip a little bigger and thank them for their hard work and patience.

Be Prepared to be Disappointed.

Not with your tattoo — that would be very disappointing; that’s the whole reason you talk with your artist. But, be prepared to be disappointed with the plans you’re trying to make for your tattoo. They may not work out exactly as you had planned, you may end up running 5 blocks for your appointment because a tour took a little long (seriously, no matter how much time you think you have, just arrive extremely early…nothing is more stressful than shelling out money for a cab when you could have grabbed the train and walked), or you may not end up getting that fresh tattoo in the city you had planned on.

With my second tattoo, I knew what I was in for and how stupid I was for not doing any sort of research beforehand. So, this time around, I did massive amounts of research. Like, a full year in advance. But….I had this idea that I needed to get it done when we were in Paris. It had to be Paris, nowhere else would suffice. Which is often how I think of Paris. Seriously. I’ve written too many posts about Paris (and more to come!). Anyways…

Luckily, there were tons of great reviews on shops in Paris from locals and travelers alike, and I set about e-mailing a couple of places to set up an appointment for myself. What they don’t tell you, is that most of these shops will not get back to you. Like, at all. Even if you e-mail in French. Then, English. Then, in French, again. Annoyed, I decided to give up on my search for the parfait French tattoo parlour and, instead, looked towards Amsterdam. Sure, I was excited for the tattoo I had been planning out in my mind for a few years, but the location (although pretty damn cool) just wasn’t what I had dreamed up in my head. That’s the thing, once you start dreaming of how it’s supposed to happen, everything in life just seems to fall apart. That is, until, I was outside the doors of this shop.

It was everything I thought a tattoo parlour should be: the artists were pierced out, tatted out dudes looking like they belonged in a basement with a bong in their hands. The two girls inside, both patrons, were covered in tattoos with dark hair and mini plaid skirts, one getting a huge intricate piece done. The place had a retro vibe with red walls, art and graffiti everywhere and bottles of Jack Daniels. My guy had a shaved head, save for some orange dreads coming out from the middle, tons of piercings and even more tattoos. I was in love. 

This was what a tattoo shop should look like and I was immensely excited. We started chatting, his ridiculously polite manners kicked in, and my nerves went out the window, letting me shoo away my friends and enjoy my time. It wasn’t Paris, but they spoke English; there wasn’t the fantasy of walking along the Seine or through the cobbled streets of Paris in the rain, but walking along the canals and into downtown Amsterdam felt just as good. Your tattoo plans may not work out exactly as you had envisioned, but as long as the parlour is clean, the staff understands what you’re thinking of, and your tattoo looks good, just go with the flow.

Categories
books

7 Books you Need to Read Before Going to Paris

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Juniper and Daisies is part of the Amazon Affiliate Program. This post contains affiliate links and I will receive a small commission if you make a purchase after clicking on my link.

Paris, my beautiful city, there’s just something about you that warms my heart. I don’t have to be doing anything but sitting in the Tuileries and yet I feel the pull of this place. Clearly, so do so many others, given how many have flocked there to write and paint and how many books are centered around the city. Here are my absolute favourites you must read before your next trip to get you even more ready and in the mood for Paris. Like you need the help. **read to write your own story…something like that

Paris Hangover
I read this book before my last two trips to Paris and a dozen times in between. It’s casual and witty and tells the story of someone who was brave enough to move from New York to Paris before everyone and their Influencer dog were doing so. A love story within a love story within a love story, we are pulled into the life of someone who adores Paris, finding her love for painting and her dream man.
Buy it from Amazon and start reading here.

Blame it on Paris
This book can either make you fall in love with Paris or hate it. Although some of the complaints are a little over the top and scream American (something she makes fun of herself), Laura’s tongue-in-cheek writing is entertaining and gives you a glimpse into the world of what it’s really like to live in France. Except, maybe not so terrible and cold as she’s describing. Anything would be cold if you came from Georgia.
Buy it from Amazon and start reading here.

The Secret ways of Perfume
I didn’t think I would like this book when I started reading it, but it turned out to be a great read. Elena, an Italian from a long line of perfumery discovers Paris and her history. A tale that isn’t just about the beautiful city, but everything that can happen in it, hidden behind those tall ornate doors.
Buy it from Amazon and start reading ” rel=”noopener noreferrer”>here.

7 must read books before your next trip to Paris | Luxuriously Thrifty

Madamoiselle Chanel
Coco Chanel wasn’t Coco Chanel until she sang and danced in a bar first. The story of how Gabriel Chanel became Coco Chanel, one of the most powerful fashion designers in the world is heart-warming and inspiring. It all started with a song and a hat.
Buy it from Amazon and start reading here.

The Paris Secret
One of my favourites and a delightful read. Flora is an Art Agent, assessing an old art collection that holds more than just the appeal of painters long gone. An intense history of the paintings reveal more than she wanted to know and leads her deeper into the family’s past.
Buy it from Amazon and start reading here.

The Paris Wife
While there is always talk of Hemingway and his writing and his ridiculous antics, there is rarely any talk of his wife. The one who came to Paris with him and changed their whole lives. It’s a bittersweet tale of Hadley, Hemingway’s wife, in a time where it wasn’t so easy to be independent and even harder to let love go.
Buy it from Amazon and start reading here.

Becoming Marie Antoinette (triology)
I absolutely loved these books. While this isn’t exactly Paris based, the tales of becoming Marie Antoinette are both heart-warming and harrowing. You watch as she leaves her family as a girl for a new country, a new world, a whole new life. You see her grow into a teenager, her role as Queen, and follow along with her downfall and the atrocities that happened as the monarch began to fall.
Buy it from Amazon and start reading here.

Need a Paris book for your baby? Check out my published book Baby’s Trip to Paris.

Categories
Life

How Complete and Utter Boredom Led me to Cut Down on Technology in Life

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I am bored. Bored with my hair. Bored with my decor. Bored with my writing. Bored with my friends and family and life and general happiness. I’m not sure why. But, I’ve begun to see a pattern as to when I start feeling this way, when the boredom and apathy starts taking over and it’s brought me to this new jumping off point. Which is a great place to start if you’re feeling bored because a jumping off point, no matter the height, is exciting.

This isn’t one of my usual posting days, but I’m starting a new experiment with myself, I wanted to post it when I started it (honestly, I should’ve posted it last night when I started rambling, but I figured some coherent sentences would be great). Lately, I’ve been feeling bored with everything around me and it’s been making me an angrier person than I already am. It took me a while to realize why, and I may still be wrong, but I’ve stopped caring about the world around me because I feel like I don’t need it.

Because, I don’t. Not in the way that I need trees and the eco-system to sustain itself so I can breathe and live, but in the way that I can alter my own eco-system and ignore the rest. If I have my phone, my social media connections and distractions, it doesn’t matter what’s going on around me, I’m carving out my own little world, my own little eco-system.

This, besides being a terrifying scene from a futuristic movie about robots taking over the world, is frightening in a whole new way. I’ve always tried my best to ignore all things internet and computer related, and nod along whenever people talk of Facebook making them feel less, making them feel sad, making them feel anxious. But, with the simplicity of acquiring new information and watching the best shows — right on my phone — I’ve forgotten my scorn for social media and the like, I’ve dove right in and lost myself in the process.

A few weeks ago, I was in Australia visiting my friend. There were 5 of us staying together, visiting and happy to see one another after months apart. Except, one night I noticed that we were all just sitting around on our phones. I noticed this because I hadn’t brought mine out yet, assuming we would be spending time together before we were apart. Now, we had been spending a lot of time together and some mindless scrolling is helpful when you’re constantly with people. I love to retire to my room to read even for 10 minutes during a busy cabin weekend. I even love to just sit in the bathroom for a minute or two if a party is particularly large and exciting/over stimulating. But, all I could see were people watching useless videos online instead of interacting with one another.

This happens all the time because we are constantly connected to our phones. Yes, I’m one of those people. I’ll stop to take some photos for instagram, sometimes posting that minute, but I physically try to keep my phone away so I can interact with the world around me.

At least, I used to.

I’ve slowly become so dependent on my phone, on being constantly entertained, on watching the next thing on Netflix that I’ve halted my ability to do anything but be told what to do from my phone. Reading is a chore. Going outside is exhausting. Yoga, meditation, general exercise is too much. This is all extreme, but it’s how I’ve been the last few weeks. I’ve been bored because I’ve been overstimulated with the screen in front of me. At least, that’s my assumption.

I’ve ignored reality and my surroundings, choosing to scroll through social media when bored rather than getting creative, exercising, or just giving into the boredom and seeing where it takes my mind. I talked about the stressors of living without the internet, but also about the absolute freedom and relief that comes from not being so attached here. I should know better, and yet, I keep getting pulled back in.

A startling discovery was when I didn’t want to watch anything on Netflix, but felt that I had to, that there wasn’t much else to do besides spend time on my phone. I was literally just wasting away hours until bed when I could’ve been doing so many more productive things, things that I love to do.

So, my new experiment is this: limited internet and phone usage. Earth-shattering goals, I know. While I cannot completely cut out my computer/tablet/phone from my life as it is part of my work, I can pump the brakes on it. I have my own routine to calm and destress me, one that I adhere to every night, but I’m taking it a step further. Maybe it’s not the only thing I need, but I’ve become so dissociated with life that I can’t ignore it any longer.

It’s time to use my phone/tablet/compute more wisely. It’s time to read more insightful articles both online and off. It’s time to waste an entire afternoon curled up on the couch with a good book and hot beverage instead of wondering if anyone posted on Instagram. It’s time to take my life back and integrate myself back into reality. And, if I get bored, the good kind of bored that lets your mind wander and day-dream, so be it.

Categories
opinions

Meal Kits are Complete Bullshit

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When all of those first free meal box cards kept showing up in my packages, I thought that they sounded pretty neat. A box of food delivered right to your door with a nice little recipe attached. How cute. Then, I looked into them and realized just how flippin’ expensive — and stupid — they are.

As someone who knows how to cook, and knows her way around a grocery store, I couldn’t fathom the idea of paying $40+ for a box of food just for one meal. Why wouldn’t I just order some yummy take-out for that kind of cash and not have to cook? I shook my head in disbelief and threw the card away.

Then, the advertising went full blast as covid hit us all. Why leave your house when you can get all of your groceries delivered right to your door! Well, because we’re not all millionaires and you can curb-side pick-up damn-near anywhere for groceries? The commercials rang out, one, in particular, stating that they were cheaper than buying groceries. I’m not sure where they get their numbers from, and I really don’t want to know where they get their food from if they’re claiming they’re cheaper than heading to a grocery store. I have a hard time buying this idea because one meal at the grocery store won’t cost you upwards of $30–50 and won’t come with shipping fees. Plus, have any of you heard of sales?

Now, there are cheaper options, for sure, but only if you’re buying one meal, and definitely if you’re just choosing a vegetarian option. Most services state that they cost just under $10 per person. Again, if you go to the grocery store you can buy more food for that price. You also will only be able to eat that one portion, meaning that leftovers are out of the question, especially if you are a person who eats more than the designated portion. That would equal just more snacking in our house.

I know, I know, I sound like a cheap, grouchy old lady. And, I am. But, I’m also aghast that this took off so fast. How lazy have we become as a society that we can’t go to the grocery store and whip up a quick meal? You can make a healthy supper in less than 30 minutes; there is no need to get fancy for every meal. And, before y’all come for me screaming about sports and working hours and not enough time in the day. I get it. The box is still stupid, as you still need to cook. If you’ve time to follow directions from a fancy meal card and add even more garbage to the world with individual packaging, you have time to make a super easy meal that you bought from the grocery store.

The price isn’t the kicker for me, although it’s — clearly — a sore spot. It’s the waste. Everything is packaged when you get a meal kit. When, as a society, we’re trying to move away from plastic packaging, it just doesn’t make sense to be ordering more plastic through the mail. Some, as I’ve been told by friends, have switched to more environmentally-friendly packaging, but packaging thus the same. For all of you die-hard meal kit-ers out there, this next part will make you happy.

Though it’s a nightmare for the environment, meal kits aren’t necessarily as evil as I thought they were when compared to grocery shopping. Apparently, grocery shopping can emit more emissions. Emphasis on can. The main culprit is food waste. The easy fix? Stop buying so much and only buy what you need. Freeze or dehydrate what you won’t be able to use in time. It’ll save you from wasting food and will save you money. This emissions statistic also take into consideration driving to the grocery store, except…are you only eating meal kits 24/7? Surely, you would have to go to the grocery store for breakfasts and lunches, snacks, soap, perishable items like milk or yogurt. Also, what if you don’t drive to the grocery store and can walk, or bike?

This is just more sneaky marketing, telling you that a box full of food that’s been shipped from who-knows-where is better than going to the grocery store. Yes, certain parts of it can be greener for the environment, but it’s not the whole picture. The greener options also lean towards buying more vegetarian meal kits (although they do take into consideration the meat ones, too), which is something you can easily do if you head to a grocery store. The produce section is always front and center when you walk in.

You also get what you get. Meaning you can’t pick out your favourite brands of meat or vegetables. You can’t support that local farmer you love. I like my particular brands of food, as there are just tastier options out there. I also like to support my local farmers, instead of having my food shipped in from any place I know nothing about. Even if there are boxes that support farmers from your country, do you like their practices? Are they regenerative farmers? Do they care about the environment and their animal’s well-being? Worse, are the farmers involved in factory farms? Domestic doesn’t automatically mean good.

Want to still buy a meal kit? Try one from your local market. There are tons out there that are doing a couple of weekly meal kits prepared by their staff, and use the ingredient you love, know, and trust. Plus, you get to help out a local business.

The moral of this long-winded rant? Meal kits are stupid. If you’re just learning how to cook, and are unsure of what to buy, then buying a few boxes to get you started can be helpful. Then again, you can just open up one of these old things we call cookbooks and check out the ingredients list there, too.