Some links are part of the Amazon affiliate program, and if you buy something from the link, I will make a bit of money.
booking.com
I genuinely enjoy this booking platform and use it all the time whenever I’m finding a place to stay. Sometimes, I will book directly will the hotels, but this platform gives you a ton of information, photos, and reviews so you can make easy decisions. You can also level up, getting discounts on certain accommodations, and perks. You’re also not stuck just booking hotels if that’s not your thing, as there are plenty of home rentals on here, too!
Dry Bags
Gone are the days of me using a plastic bag to pop my dirty clothes or heavily soiled items into. I bought some dry bags when we began cloth diapering our baby, but I’ve been using them nonstop for swimming (as long as the swimsuit is rung out and isn’t sopping wet – super wet items need a wet bag), an extra in case something spills, or for dirty clothes on a trip. I love that there are two zipper pockets, so you keep clean items in one pocket, while dirty or damp items, can be popped into the other one.
Mini Stasher Bags
We’re a bar soap family: body soap, face soap, shampoo, sometimes conditioner. Even if it’s not your favourite thing, packing bars instead of liquids is so much easier to shove into a bag and make room. As long as you’re not bringing bulky individual soap dishes. They leak, they’re all made of yucky plastic, any eco-friendly options are insanely expensive. All you need is one, or maybe two, of these Stasher snack bags and all of your soaps, even small liquids, can live happily in there. No leaking. Tip: make sure there is no moisture sitting at the bottom of the bag before you seal it up, again!
Mini Travel Kit for Liquids
Even if you use bar soap for almost all of your hygienic needs, chances are you need to bring some liquids with you. I have a travel kit similar to this that works perfectly for adding a small pot of liquid here or there. I like to take dish soap with me on trips, even when not staying in an Airbnb, as it comes in it handy if you need to wash anything, including an emergency sink of clothes.
Facial Mist
I love taking a facial mist with me on the plane to help hydrate and perk up my skin after travelling all day. It’s also a great accompaniment when you’re dealing with hot days and need a little cooling off. Vichy makes a great travel sized one that will last for many trips and has been my favourite brand of facial mist for over a decade.
Roll Up Compression Bags
Sometimes, you just need to shove a little bit more into that suitcase, and that’s where these compression bags come in handy! You can fit a surprising amount of stuff in these bags. Car travel, train travel, plane travel, now you can fit a little bit more without adding another bulky suitcase.
Hi, everyone! I’m so excited you found my page. I’m Michelle Lee-Ann, and boy, have I got some stories to share.
I’ve had blogs throughout the years, going from travel niche to a lifestyle blog (The LT Edit), but neither felt 100% right. While I love travel, loved writing about it (still do!), and loved the fun articles I could post about gardening and decor on The LT Edit, it wasn’t what really made me feel inspired. I was never one for marketing and social media (despite actually holding that title in my job years ago); though fun, it was always so tedious and exhausting to keep up with what was trending.
I always loved telling stories. Writing whatever comes to mind and ranting about this and that. I had a small outlet of that on Medium, but after years of back and forth between blogs, taking time off to focus on my daughter, and deciding what in the world I want to put out there in the world, I finally landed on what I should be doing: writing stories.
Writing stories for me. For you. For everyone. I won’t be worrying about making click-bait titles and trying to do 1,000 affiliate programs and keep up with my social media platform. Right now, there isn’t even a social media platform for this blog. We’re taking baby steps here and listening to what I always tell everyone else to listen to: intuition. Go with your gut and all that.
So, I’m happy you landed here and hope you stick around to read some fun things, some grumpy things, some wistful things. Like what you find here? Tell everyone. Like, everyone. Happy reading!
I so badly want to be a Pinterest mom. Not badly enough to stress myself out and ignore my own rest breaks, but badly enough.
I love looking up cute holiday crafts to do with my daughter, or for when we have playdates. I love balloon arches. I love the little wooden toddler knife I bought her. I love the tiny footprints I had made when she was an itty bitty newborn. I love scrolling Pinterest to find cute things to do and cute décor for every occasion.
What I don’t love is the pressure.
The pressure to have to do these things. To look like a good mother if I cut her food into cute shapes. For some, it helps those picky eaters. For most, it’s just more damn work on an already busy day. Every time I see pancakes in the shape of candy canes or snowmen, I think I could totally do that. Then, I wonder why I would take the time only for her to eat it in three seconds, demanding more. Pancakes are like cocaine to toddlers.
Maybe my comparison there is why I can never be a Pinterest mom.
Sure, I can put in the extra work and make things more things special in her life. But, could I mentally handle it? Probably not.
I’m a big fan of mixing things, though. When she was a baby, I breastfed and formula fed. I’m a stay at home mom, but she also goes to her grandparents two days of the week so I can write (and, to be honest, take a break). I plan fun parties with tons of balloons, streamers, AND a balloon arch, but we don’t have 1,000 activities or so much specialized décor I’m stressing the entire time. She gets healthy snacks for school packaged in a bento box, complete with little appetizers picks (I found this was great for her to keep her hands a little cleaner when eating certain foods), but there are also gushers or just a buttered piece of bread some days.
As she’s gotten older, I’ve realized that I can do the Pinteresty things without going fully overboard. I can buy a 3 foot Christmas tree for her room, let her pick out decorations, and decorate it. I don’t need to make every decorate, or have it be themed (what’s the fun in that for a child, anyways?). I can bake the cookies with the fancy sprinkles and try a new recipe, but I don’t need to make frozen whipped cream snowmen for hot chocolates.
I can save the receiving blankets and sleep sacks of hers, but maybe wait until she’s a little older (and thus giving me more time to do projects) to finish the quilt. I can have the aesthetically pleasing wooden toys and hand-made items, but also the plastic toys that make wild amounts of noise.
I can protect my time because who is going to make these crafts with her if I’m too stressed from the one last week? I can take a little bit of everything, like I love to do, and go at my own pace, making sure to keep my own sanity.
Until I get caught up in the next fun Pinterest project.
After making a Substack page and then abandoning it for fear of not knowing what to write, thinking I had to ONLY write about one topic, I’ve come back in hopes of gaining more traction with readers.
It’s also opened up a new avenue of chapter-by-chapter releases of novellas where I can workshop it a little bit before hitting publish into the big, scary world of self-published books.
You can find my first novella debut there – right now! – called The Snowy Christmas.
Seriously, check it out. It’s FREE!
As I get rid of social media in the classic sense (see yah, Instagram), I’m using Substack as my place of community. So, if you’d like to connect, check it out.
I will be working on figuring out if this website (the one I’ve neglected for a while) will mirror Substack in most ways, or if I’ll be doing something different. Most likely, they will be similar with more ways to connect on Substack and maybe a few different things over here.
I’m finished trying to make everything perfectly curated and am just throwing everything out there into the world, enjoying myself, and hoping others will come along for the ride.
I’ve been at this writing thing for quite some time. I used to scribble stories in journals when I was younger. I’d write down my feelings and day-to-day happenings in my diary, something that wasn’t always as fun as telling stories. Maybe that’s why I got bored of the regular lifestyle blogging that pulls so many in. I don’t care about the day-to-day activities or hashing about it all every. single. day. I love stories.
But, what happens when your brain suddenly turns off and it’s impossible to tell any type of story? It’s been weeks since I’ve posted on here, mainly due to sickness just before Christmas and then the excitement of the holidays. Though ours weren’t particularly packed with plans, I felt content with the few things we had on our calendar and the rest of time was taken up with relaxing, family outings, and cleaning.
Eventually, my basement will be clean and more useable. Maybe even cute and not filled with stacks of crap everywhere. Eventually.
But, as my English professor used to say after every 10 minutes…I digress.
The start of the fall had me feeling on top of the world. I had got going on this blog, hoping to reach a few people, maybe – eventually – make a little bit of money from it. I started a business with my pal, Sarah, doing editing and writing projects (psst it’s juniperandoakediting.ca if you want to check it out). I added two more books to my name on Amazon, bringing the Baby Paris series to a close, but ready to create more travel kid’s books.
It was all feeling great. I had the motivation. I, somehow, had the time. And then….
Well, it all kind of took a turn. I couldn’t seem to think of anything to say. Everything sounded forced and stupid and just…not right. Luckily, I had an arsenal of posts already written and at the ready to go live. But, I was feeling incomplete. I had no more outlet for my creative feelings, feelings that were still living inside of me, but were being tamped down with so many other things.
Social media scrolling. Toddler shenanigans. Sickness. Busyness cleaning. TV watching. Imposter Syndrome.
My mind was constantly running. Even at the gym, I started playing mahjong on the elliptical instead of mindlessly staring out the window. I stopped listening to music at the gym, stopped reading books while on the bike. I wanted to just take a minute to free my brain, but somewhere in all the messiness that is life I couldn’t let it happen.
I used to meditate before bed. I would meditate in the evening or the morning, sometimes sitting on the dock of my pond before I went to work. I haven’t even tried to get back into that rhythm. Though it would look very different with a toddler about, and I could probably only get a good meditation in before bed, I didn’t even try. I had been in survival mode since my daughter was born and kind of didn’t think to get out of it.
Though I haven’t felt the need to go to bed at 7pm just so I could get more sleep, or take multiple naps during the day, or feel so touched out that I just sit and stare at a wall for 10 minutes every night, I still wasn’t doing what I wanted. Or, rather, doing things that matter to me. Because I’ve been doing what I wanted: watching TV, seeing friends every so often, scrolling, making travel plans. And, doing things that I thought I should do: cleaning the house, working as much as I could to get a business off the ground, posting here, but not really feeling it the last month.
I’ve been doing things, but just nothing that truly matters. And, it’s been affecting my brain. How I’ve been feeling.
I sort of made some New Years’ resolutions, even though I don’t really like them. I think it’s better to make changes to your life when you need it, rather than a list of things you think you should be doing just because the clock has struck midnight on the previous year. My resolutions are less list-y and nothing is centered around weight loss (such a population resolution), they’re more of things I’m going to continue working on in my life.
I’m going to just go for it all. I’ve been stuck in Imposter Syndrome for a long, long time. I was worried that I wasn’t as cool as other bloggers out there when I was working on The LT Edit and I didn’t go hard enough on it. I haven’t hit my writing goals because I’m afraid that if I’ll fail. I struggled with starting my business because I was worried it would fail.
What silly thoughts that kept me from achieving success. This blog isn’t the same as my previous lifestyle one, but maybe it’ll morph into something different over time. Right now, it’s for me to tell stories, and for people to (hopefully!) enjoy them. I’m not going to worry about sounding silly, or whether or not I’m cool enough to blog. I’m just going to do it.
I’m going to go for my writing goals. Work on it and just do it. I was worried my business would fail, and while we’re not making millions, we’re just starting out with lots of room to grow. I was worried about publishing a children’s book, but every time someone buys it I get excited. We definitely haven’t hit any high sales, but I did it. I have an author page on Amazon and GoodReads and that’s pretty fucking cool.
I’m going to be more chill about things and try to worry less. Last year saw a lot of growth in my therapy for OCD. I want to continue to work on that and become less anxious. It’ll be what it’ll be.
And, lastly…
I want to be myself, again. Motherhood is hard and you end up losing yourself along the way. While I’ll never be the same person I was two years ago, I can do the things that I enjoy. Which means a trip to Paris with friends, no husband or child (something I’ve excited and nervous for!). It means making cute outfits just for the grocery store. It means indulging in things I used to love (like ordering a FabFitFun box, again. I stopped because products contained palm oil, but it looks like they’ve moved to cleaner products. We will see how it goes). It means working out, going outside more, gardening, and meditating.
We need to let our minds wander a bit as creative souls. Being so ‘ON’ all the time is exhausting. If we don’t get bored every so often, or quiet our thoughts down, how are we going to pick out the good ones?
So, I’m going to focus on letting my mind wander. I’m going to do things just because they bring me unfettered joy. I’m going to post things and not worry about if it’s rambling or stupid or if anyone will read it. Because it feels right. Hopefully, something exciting comes out of it all. And, if not, at least I’ll be beyond happy.
Am I doing too much? Or, not enough? These two thoughts bounce around my head constantly. Whether it comes to parenting, managing the house, or my own personal work projects. Creative projects, sorry.
Sometimes, or rather, most of the time, it feels like I’m drowning in everything that I have to do. Splitting time up between moming, keep the house somewhat clean and organized, doing a little bit of work, doing a little bit of something I like to do to relax, and trying to keep up with this crazy world we call the internet.
When I first started blogging, it seemed so simple, so easy. I started making okay money on Medium, thinking I’ll run into some pretty-damn-good-let’s-quit-my-job money. That, obviously, did not happen. Because, the writing world exploded with people who didn’t care about writing, but cared about clickbait and made a living that way. Not for me.
Anyways.
Everything seemed so simple back then. I was freelancing and making some money. I had a job that was paying me decent. I didn’t have a child. I had tons of freedom, time, and disposable income. Now, I’m in a very different situation. Living my life as a stay at home mom, yet trying to do a bit of writing on the side and make a little bit of an income. Because being poor? I’m not into it. Not for me. I want that disposable income.
So, I’m trying everything, all at once. I scrapped my old blog, and started a new one (this bad boy you’re reading on) for the only reason because the first didn’t serve me, anymore. I threw away subscribers and followers and page views that were careening towards really great. I was making a small amount of money from my blog, and yet I didn’t care. It wasn’t for me, anymore, so I switched gears. I made 0.001cents four months ago. That’s it. I know it’s a long-game when you’re not writing clickbait, so I can breathe without passing out. But, it’s a pain in the ass.
I’ve also decided to take on personal writing projects and a bit of freelancing. I published a baby book with my friend as the illustrator , and then we published two more. (yes, hello, here is a link to all of them if you are so inclined to buy a copy)
While some may say that sounds like enough, I decided that it wasn’t and I’ve started a business with my friend, who also illustrated those children’s books. Curious as to what it is? Go have a look at Juniper and Oak Editing! I’m sure I’ll be talking about it more.
In the gig economy and reach for your stars motivation of Instagram and wherever else people get their information and jealousy from, the above sounds standard. Some days, it feels great. I’ve found that putting in tons of time into Medium gives me dick all, so I’ve stopped that. It’s now a place where I just word vomit and that’s enough for me.
My blog, my personal writing projects, those are for me. I’m writing them for people to connect with my words, for people to enjoy my content, not to explicitly make money (I mean, that’d be nice, right?). They feel like the ultimate side gig, though. Something that makes me happy, but can generate money.
So, why not add a business onto my busy-enough life? Seems logical.
From what I’ve been seeing on Instagram, the week later Tik Tok, it seems like this type of thinking is engrained in our Millennial brains. Boomers be off booming. Gen X works hard, but also plays hard. Gen Z has learned the true meaning of boundaries. And, Millennials? Well, we’re stuck at the office cleaning up everyone else’s mess while the media says we’re the ones making it. We’re there to never say no, as our parents taught us not to ‘rock the boat’ and hold a strong work ethic.
But, what happens when that strong work ethic is a bit too strong? That we want to people please, and do a great job, and be the first one in the office, and follow our dreams, and have some peaceful mental health, and go on great vacations? Burn. Out.
I’ve written about this before, but it was always about everything in life.
Now? What is this burn out that I’m feeling? It feels different than before because it doesn’t just hit every couple of weeks, but every damn day. I could easily say it’s probably something neurodivergent because the obsessive is slamming with the manic and it’s an absolute riot in my brain, but that’s not the whole story.
I feel like I’m not doing enough even though I’m doing absolutely everything I can. My friends, similar ages, feel like they’re not doing enough even though they’re doing absolutely everything they can. Moms in mom groups feel like they’re not doing enough even though they’re doing absolutely everything they can.
Perhaps it’s less of a Millennial thing and more of a female thing? Because what do you get when people are born at a time when there were strong gendered roles in the world, but also at a time of the emergence of more independent women, superhero women who can do it all, and the slow shy away from specified gendered roles? Women who feel like they should be able to do it all, and do it all alone, while still shouldering most of the ‘female specified’ roles in the household, child or not.
Maybe it’s time to take a page out of a Gen Zer and say ‘no, thanks’ to a few more things. Set more boundaries. Know that I can do it all, but for only a short amount of time, and anyone saying they can is kidding themselves, or missing a key piece of life. We always see rich older gentlemen in movies sitting on a pile of wealth, but less memories with families. They have it all in a money sense, but not the whole picture, and they can afford assistants and chefs and maids.
So, what’s a person to do who cannot afford such things? Starting building those walls.
And, no, not like that.
Put up those walls to form a few boundaries. Know that we don’t need to keep working every second of the day. Know that, while it feels like we didn’t do much in the day, it adds up to a whole hell of a lot. Know that a single work day doesn’t need to cram 10–12 hours of work into 5 hours. Know that we can take breaks and breathe and take a fucking step back.
Know that, while we can have strong work ethics and work hard, we can also have less toxic environments, even if they’re the environments we have created for ourselves in our heads. Because working longer, faster, harder all the time doesn’t get you everything in the end. It just gets you burned the fuck out.
By nature I’m a really angry person. Lots of things set me off, some of them big, a lot of them small. I’m a big believer in the ‘no worries and move on’ type of attitude, only if it doesn’t fuck with my plans. I’m basically an old man, swinging his fist at youths who dared to step onto my lawn. But in better clothes.
Often, my angry stems from the massive amounts of anxiety I have every day. Luckily, I’ve a great therapist to help me with this. I’m often trying to get my anxious thoughts under control, I’m trying to throw logic at my obsessive and obtrusive thoughts, which usually means I’ve little patience for anything to go wrong.
Usually, I can tamp that anger down, only snapping at those closest to me. The ones I can easily apologize to and explain why I’m so angry. The ones who will forgive me much more easily than anyone else. You know, how we all do. Like the assholes we are. A few weeks ago I couldn’t keep it in. I could barely handle everyday tasks, as any fuck up made my blood pressure spike.
As an educated perfectionist who is judgey as all fuck and too hard on herself, I can’t stand stupidity. Not stupidity in that someone just hasn’t learned something yet, or is taking a while to understand something. There is nothing wrong with trying to educate yourself or trying in life. Those people do not make me angry, they make me hopeful for the future.
I’m talking about the kind of stupidity that makes you question how humanity got so far in life. The type of stupidity exercised by the ‘Karen’s’ of the world. Of the ones who read headlines and form an opinion, screaming it into the internet world at the top of their lungs. Of the stupidity that comes from total ignorance in everything around you.
I’ve done some stupid things in life, and I’m sure I’ve been ignorant a time or two (or 10 or 50). The difference is that I don’t comment in hate-filled tones, degrading anyone around me. I leave that to my brain to whisper to myself, or confiding in my friends and let them tell me I’m being ridiculous or need to take a step back and re-evaluate. That’s the thing about growing up before the internet: I know how to not use it just for hate.
I’ve long been a comment reader on social media. Whenever I see a juicy headline, I excitedly read through the article, knowing of the fresh hell that will await me in the comments section. I can’t wait to open those gates to Hades and see what all the idiots out there have to say.
To say that gleeful obsession with ignorant and hurtful comments isn’t healthy is an understatement. I understand that I shouldn’t care, that I should move on with my own opinions, perhaps writing about them in a well-researched article, or at the very least, an article that isn’t riddled with such anger it muddles my vision and logic.
The last few months* have proven how awful humanity can be. It’s also proven how wonderful it is. Unfortunately, the awful part sticks out far more than the wonderful. Like everything else in my life, my brain started to obsess on these haters, these trolls, these douches. I needed to read their comments, follow their journey, watch as others easily took them down with eloquent wording and *gasp* facts and logic.
I got too far into it, reading too many comments, reading too much fear and anger and hatred out there. My brain started needing more while feeling like it couldn’t take on another grain of stupidity. I found myself angry at everything. I found myself wondering why humanity existed, why any of us should continue to live. I found myself wondering if life was worth it in the grand ol’ scheme of things, if this was what life was like.
Though not suicidal, the thoughts were dark enough to snap me into reality. Because, living for the comments section — even if only to see a troll being taken down — isn’t reality. It’s fucked up nonsense that we, as an entire society, have begun to obsess over.
I couldn’t handle reading anything, anymore. I didn’t want to talk to friends in case I became irrationally angry. I looked for therapists to help me with my anger, yet had to wait for far too long to find one. I had broken down because of social media. Not only did that make me angry, but it made me sad. There wasn’t any reasoning for it. It was something that could easily be controlled in my life, that I didn’t have to look at, but was obsessively scrolling through.
The simple thing to do would be to just stop reading. Stop reading the news. Stop reading the comments. Take a little break. Which I did. I am a BIG fan of a news cleanse every so often. But, when you’ve already lost faith in humanity it’s hard to crawl back to the surface, to the light.
I’ve stopped engaging in social media or looking at the comments on news outlets. I slip up a time or two, my hands getting jittery when I read an exceptional piece from one of my favourite news outlets. But, I’ve learned my lesson. Nothing good can come of it and life isn’t a comments section, filled with hateful people. Rarely, are facts or reasoning found there. The poison is out there, bolded and in italics, because they’re louder than the rest.
I’ve learned my lesson that some people can be the absolute worst, but that I don’t need them in my life. Of course I’m still angry at stupidity, but in a much more sensible way. Now, when something infuriating happens, my brain doesn’t feel like it’s about to explode. I can take a breath and look at whether it really matters in the grand scheme of things, or if it’s just time to smile and move on.
*Fun fact: I wrote this a while ago. Turns out, humanity just keeps getting more and more awful as we revert back to the ‘good old days’ of absolute terror and awfulness.
The holidays can be a stressful time of year; there are parties to go to, nails and hair to get done, dresses to buy, presents to find, and still our regular day-to-day activities to do. That’s a lot in just a short month. Why do we do this to our self each and every year? If you haven’t yet learned how to say no to all those parties and get-togethers (it’s so much harder than you think!), then taking time for yourself will help you not lose your damn mind.
Meditate Yes, this is on my list and everyone else’s self-care list and everything wonderful you can do by yourself because IT WORKS. I have high anxiety (have you noticed?) and severe migraines and just the simple act of breathing helps. But, sitting there and just breathing isn’t going to work.
Find a comfortable spot to sit so you’re either cross-legged (like on a yoga mat. If you have tight hips like I do, use a blanket, block, or bolster to get your hips off the ground and for a better feel) or sitting in a chair with your feet flat on the ground.
Put your palms face down on either of your knees.
Close your eyes and focus only on yourself.
Breathe in through your nostrils, letting your whole body fill with air. Breathe in deeply and slowly so that your stomach, chest and ribs expand to let in your breath.
Breathe out through your nostrils slowly, paying attention to how your chest will fall first, then your stomach.
Focus on your body filling with air, expanding and contracting as you let your breath out.
If you are having trouble focusing on your breath and need a little something extra to quiet your mind (believe me, it’s hard!), focus on a glowing orb in your body. As you breathe in, it travels up from your belly, up your spine and to your head. As you breathe out, it will travel down from your head to your chest, then your belly, again, completing a full circle.
Don’t worry if you can’t sit and focus only on your breathing. Some days are harder than others and it’s hard to focus inwards on your first try. Either set a timer to break you out of your meditation (go for a light alarm instead of the usual blasting one that gets you out of bed in the mornings) or breathe until you feel content, light, and relaxed.
Mask it Up You’re stressed. So your skin is probably pissed at you and acting out in ways you thought were over when you were 16. This one works two-fold in self-care. You’re going to get the benefits of your face mask AND the benefits of sitting still and relaxing as you let that beautiful clay sink into your skin. Double up your relaxation by adding that mask to your face when you’re in a bath. I’ve been taking baths 2-3x a week, now, instead of showers and I’m feeling so good. It gives me 20 minutes by myself (before my daughter comes screaming in demanding her bath), I add Epsom salts for my muscles and migraines, and read.
Read Before you go thinking this is a dumb way to self-care, hear me out! When was the last time you picked up a book and read it just for fun? Some of you are probably saying ‘duh, like every day’ while a lot of you are failing to make eye contact. Guaranteed you’re either working your butt off to shatter those glass ceilings, making sure your house doesn’t fall apart, watching Netflix, or scrolling through your phone. None of those things are at ALL relaxing. Hello, have we heard of this fucked up thing called blue-light? Listen, ever since I started my evening routine, I’ve started feeling way more relaxed and calm, letting me fall asleep earlier, faster and better. What’s a major part of that evening routine? Reading!
Grab a book and start reading. It’ll make you sit down and concentrate on only ONE THING, the book in front of you. If you’re finding that you’re re-reading sentences more than once and not understanding what’s going on (free pass if you’re reading Tolstoy…does anyone ever know what’s going on there?), head on back up to the first tip and grab a meditation session to clear your head.
Take 5 Minutes Just five minutes! That’s barely any time at all! Take those five minutes, whenever you feel the most need for them. Whether it’s sitting and enjoying your coffee in the morning, instead of chugging it down, reading an article you normally wouldn’t indulge in, a really quick yoga practice, or simply just calling someone you love (although, this could end up being way more than 5 minutes). Take the 5 minutes to indulge in yourself.
Walk or Exercise Yeah, I know it’s cold out and it’s not the time to go gallivanting in a forest (except it’s so beautiful!). But! Getting outside into that fresh air will make you feel so much better about everything around you. Simply going for a walk around the block, out into your yard, or for a full day’s hike in nature will set you back to that feeling of quiet content. Often, just standing on my deck and taking in a few big, deep, mindful breaths gets me feeling right again.
I have an author page on Goodreads (and, on Amazon), and finding out this exciting news has made my entire day.
I never thought I’d have one of these, even as I thought about how I’d absolutely, without a doubt, become a writer. I was a pre-teen, scribbling down my ideas and writing out small chapters for novels that kept popping into my head. I knew that I was going to do something with writing, but I wasn’t sure what I would do.
I thought I’d go to journalism school, checking out the best ones, which meant leaving my province. I decided, before leaving thankfully, that journalism wasn’t the right stream for me, and landed on just a plain ol’ English degree. Exciting, I know.
Still, I knew I would become a writer. I almost had a job, just out of University, writing for a new magazine, but that venture went under. I don’t know why they thought it was a great idea to start a magazine just as all print was falling, but they gave it a shot and that’s all that matters. Still I held onto hope.
I didn’t do much writing, and did a lot of drinking for a couple of years, as most writers do. I traveled; I partied; I ‘gathered stories’ from my life. I wrote only when I felt the urge, which was a decent amount of time, but not nearly enough to actually make a go of anything. I was stuck in that weird writer world where I thought I’d get published just for writing…not, you know, actually trying to get published.
Over a decade later, literally, I started writing more seriously. I had been on Upwork before it blew up, writing for pennies, but quit to write my own stuff. I wrote on Medium for a company before I even knew what Medium was. I started a blog. Then, started a new blog. Then, updated that blog. Then, as of this year, I trashed that blog and started new. I also published my first book. It didn’t feel the way I thought it would, but that’s okay. Now that I have three books under my belt, it feels the way my teenage brain thought it would.
I feel excited. I feel like I’m a real author. All because of an author page on Goodreads. Self publishing can feel like you’re just writing things down in a notebook, or drawing on a piece of paper, hanging your poems and artwork on your fridge. It’s hard to feel like a ‘real’ author because you have no publishing house to back you up. No editor. No marketing persons. Just you and yourself reading through Amazon’s tips and trying to figure out just what in the hell you’re actually doing.
These two author pages, but especially the Goodreads as I did not make that one up myself, are what I needed to push myself forward. To publish more kid’s books. To finish those novels that have been sitting on my computer, collecting dust, abandoned and alone due to Imposter Syndrome setting in.
I may not be a New York Time’s bestselling author, but I’ve sold books. People, besides friends and family, have purchased my book. All I need to do is keep working, keep pushing forward, and maybe one day I’ll hit that list. And, if not, that’s okay, too. Because even without making a ton of money or hitting a bunch of lists, I’m still a published author.
There’s just something about a Hallmark Christmas movie that makes my heart melt. Yes, the writing is awkward. Yes, it’s incredibly cheesey. Yes, it’s completely hard to believe that people are lounging in their homes with the cutest outfits on and not in old pajama pants and a T-shirt that has seen better days. But, Hallmark Christmas movies are some of my absolute favourite movies.
When there are so many movies that are trying too hard, Hallmark is what it is. There is no trying to impress, no pretentious feeling plot, no stop and think moments. They’re there to get you into the Christmas spirit, to lift you up from a bad day, or a bad week, to bring you and your friends together for some wine and hot chocolate and snuggly nights spent on the couch watching movies that feel good. And, if you feel bad about watching them, give my article on why you shouldn’t a read.
Every Hallmark Christmas movie has a happy ending. While most movies have some sort of happy ending, Hallmark Christmas movies are always the happiest. They get what they always wanted, or never knew they wanted, and suddenly everything falls into place. Is this what happens in real life? No. That’s why it’s a movie. That’s why they’re so beloved and watched by so many. We need happy endings (pardon the double entendre) in our lives because life doesn’t have a magical happy ending.
Life isn’t fixed when you fall in love. It isn’t fixed when you move to a small, beautiful, wintery small town. It isn’t fixed when you quit your job to explore your passions. In a Hallmark Christmas movie, it is. It gives you hope for what can be, even though, deep down, you know it won’t work out that way. At least, not right away.
While some may look to Hallmark Christmas movies as bullshit that leads us further down the path away from feminism, I call bullshit on that excuse. They’re wholesome movies in a way that grown-ups, mostly grown women, can relate to. We all yearn to be happy and loved and feel safe. That may look different for everyone, but it’s safe to say that people want those three things. Hallmark Christmas movies give you those things. They make you feel happy, loved, and safe, even as you’re rolling your eyes at how the two characters just happen to fall into one another’s arms while baking cookies.
They’re the fairytale endings that we aren’t supposed to like and strive for because we are strong, independent women. But, doesn’t everyone strive for a fairytale ending? That ending may include a killer career and independence, but it may also include someone who loves and cares for you (hetero or otherwise), even if that includes friends who turn into family or family that turns into friends. It can also just mean falling in love and living happily ever after, because in a world that should be equal and feminist, it’s okay to want those things, too.
Fairytale endings aren’t real life, so why not escape for a couple of hours where everyone gets that fairytale ending, that perfect life, the white picket fence without the Stepford vibes. Get off your high horse and grab a peppermint hot chocolate and indulge your inner princess (or prince).
Some links are part of the Amazon affiliate program, and if you buy something from the link, I will make a bit of money.
As a migraineur for two decades, I’ve tried A LOT of things to help with the pain. Some work, some don’t, and some work every so often. Because drugs don’t always help, or you can’t take too many, I’ve reached for a lot of ‘natural’ type of remedies that I can do when I’m traveling, or while I’m waiting for drugs to kick in. Remember, I’m not a doctor, but this is just what has helped me.
Ice Headband Lots of people reach for the ice cap, but ice doesn’t always sit well with me, so I wanted something a little less intense and something that can be moved around a little easier. This headband is great for when your brain feels like it’s inflamed. I also love that it covers my eyes so I can use it in areas that have strong light (or if my husband needs to get something out of our bedroom, he doesn’t need to use a flashlight).
Green Light I’ve the Allay lamp, but it’s pretty pricey and they don’t ship to Canada, so you’d have to go through Reship, which just adds extra to the price. I do love my lamp as it can fold up easily for travel, and has a charging docking station for phones (though, I’ve no idea how to use it yet!), so if you’re American, jump on it! Or, e-mail the company if you’re Canadian so they get back to shipping to Canada.
I’ve also heard good things about this bulb, and I’m thinking about buying one so I can keep it at the lake. The downside looks like it needs a dimmer switch, or just to not be right next to you as the light can be bright (an issue I have with the Allay lamp, sometimes, even when it’s dimmed).
Acupressure Mat I’ve been using this ages. I love my acupressure mat, both for my back, and for my feet. Every night, I stand on the mat (takes a little getting used to. I started with sitting on with my feet on it and then adding more pressure until I could stand), stretch my neck, and feel better. Like some migraine remedies, it’s hard to tell if it 100% works, but it feels good and releasing tension in my feet really helps me. Plus, you can get pillows like this mat, or roll yours up, so it hits your neck and head and feels AH-mazing.
I highly recommend getting one like this that includes the foot ball(s), as well, as it’s a major life saver when traveling. My mat didn’t include a round pillow, but a travel mat I could fold up, and though it works okay on the neck, the pillow would be SO much better.
Foot Massager So, I’m big into feet when it comes to my migraines. I love reflexology, my acupressure mat, and foot massages when it comes to my migraines. Doing them often to keep migraines at bay, or rubbing my feet (or having someone else – way better) during a migraine attack.
Get one with a warmer, like this one, as warming feet during a migraine attack can help take the blood away from your brain. People always say to immerse them in water, but there is no way I can stand and draw a bath in order to do so. Wrapping my feet in blankets helps loads, though.
Mushroom Hot Chocolate I’ve become obsessed with mushrooms and their benefits after watching Fantastic Fungi and decided to try this hot chocolate mix. It’s delicious, not too sweet – which I love – and easy to make. I make mine without the coconut oil, and add a splash of oat milk, and/or some whipped cream. I’ve been feeling way better since I’ve started drinking it everyday, and I’ve drank a cup when I felt a migraine coming on a time or two and it’s dissolved.
Every body is different, so it may not work for you, but it’s a delicious treat nonetheless! Make sure you buy any products like this from reputable sources. I get mine from Harmonic Arts.
Ginger Ginger can really combat migraines. Some people eat ginger candies, something I’ve tried but just can’t do. I do drink a ginger tea every single night before bed. Nothing fancy or special, just this Tetley one. They used to have a ginger peppermint, which was amazing for when your tummy is upset during an attack, but I’ve since not been able to find it. Strong ginger teas aren’t palatable for me, but if they are for you, may be a better option as they’ll have more ginger properties in them.
Whiteflag App I’ve, honestly, never used this app yet, but I’ve heard so many good things about it. Sometimes, we’re stuck with chronic pain for so long our brains begin to spiral. I always, always recommend a therapist, but if you’re waiting on a referral, or just need someone to talk to in the moment, this app has people who have experienced everything in mental health. Lean on people on you need it.
Do you have any remedies for migraine pain that I haven’t mentioned? Drop a comment below so we can all help one another out!
I wrote most of this a few years ago, and man, did SO much happen since. Lots of great stuff, then a pandemic changing everything, pregnancy, my now 2 year old daughter. I can pin-point what was happening that made me write this, but it also holds true for times during the pandemic AND into motherhood. The idea that there isn’t enough time to do anything, and the world feels like it’s crumbling is something most of us have become accustomed to. Anyways, here’s my old take on a different type of self-care routine, and how it looks very similar to my self-care routine as a busy mom.
I’m a big believer in Self-Care. Most of what you see on your feed and magazines is all about masks and bubble baths and going to get your nails done, but that’s not the type of self-care I’m talking about. Yes, those all help if that’s your jam (and you can afford the extras), but it’s not the self-care that hits home for me. My self-care includes those things, but a little more, like acupressure mats, nature, meditation, and therapy.
The stress of trying to do everything all at once is crushing us. Pursuing our dreams, working a 9-5 if our dreams have not yet been realized, being the best partner, being the best friend, being the best parent, being the best mentally and physically. PLUS keep a work-life balance AND look good on Instagram? Impossible. Where do we fit in the time for self-care if we’re doing so much to achieve all of the above? Where do we fit in the time to just sit and stare at a TV and decompress?
As a migraine sufferer and someone with extremely high anxiety, I am all for self-care. I think it’s wonderful to sit down at the end of the day with a face mask and read before bed, giving myself that extra time to do what I love instead of chores or work (even if that work is my passion). It’s amazing to take a meditation session on the dock on my pond, listening to the birds chirp and the grasses and leaves blow in the breeze. That’s my self-care. I use it as a preventative ‘medicine’ coupled with my real medicine to keep my migraines at bay and myself sane.
A lot of people take self-care a little too seriously and a little too far (see: calling into work ‘sick’ or bailing on friends because you’re feeling a little stressed and ‘deserve’ a spa day). We’ve gone from having a hard time saying no to anything to thinking we need to say no to everything. At least, that’s the consensus on Instagram posts.
Feeling like we’re having to do absolutely seemingly has caused us to burn the fuck out and backtrack. But, in order to get back on track we’ve begun to think that we need entire days, weekends, weeks, of doing all of these amazingly blissful things. Obviously caught on camera, because then it doesn’t count.
But, here’s the thing: you can get through it. Without the full spa days and the binge-watching or the numerous yoga sessions. Are they amazing? Yes. Has a festival changed my entire life after putting things into perspective and allowing me to just breathe? Also, yes. But, we can’t be heading off to festivals every single weekend, or month. At least, I sure as hell can’t.
These last two months have been horrible and amazing. So many great things happened, so many things to celebrate and be happy for. An equal amount of terrible things have happened that made our lives busier, more stressful, and shook us. I’m penning this post the day after the storm has ended. There’s still a straggler stressing me out, causing me grief, but the busy schedule and the don’t-stop-keep-going is over.
Guys, I didn’t think I’d make it. Not in a suicidal sense, but in a sense that my body and mind was about to give up and I’d have a nervous break-down. It was too much to handle and one thing after the other kept piling up (much like my laundry and my kitchen table during these last two months). I had written in my notebook at work, usually kept to make lists of things to do that day, that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t keep going. I was starting to break, but I couldn’t show it because there was too much going on, both wonderful and horrible, that I needed to make it through, enjoying what I could.
Looking at the words today, I’m surprised by how broken I had felt. I don’t feel that way anymore; I feel as if I can take on the next big issue and work through it without falling to pieces over something as simple as an e-mail (which had happened in the last couple months). I definitely know that all of that stress wasn’t healthy for me, that some of the food choices I made in the quick minute I had weren’t the best, that skipping a de-stressing routine wasn’t doing me any favours. And, of course, that only added to my stress.
So, where does self-care come in through all of this? It does, and it doesn’t. I didn’t do as much yoga (really, barely any), I didn’t meditate as much as I should have, I didn’t spend mornings or evenings reading on the deck, enjoying those beautiful sunsets I love so much. But, I did sneak in 5-10 minutes on the dock, just listening to nature and letting my feelings be heard and start to work themselves out, unraveling the little balls of stress my brain was storing.
I stretched out my neck and did a sun salutation or two, resulting in a 3 minute yoga session. Not 30 minutes or an hour, like normal. I put on a face mask and read for 30 minutes before bed at the start of my most hectic weekend, carving out just that small amount of time specifically for a minute of solitude and comfort. I wrote down my stress and my feelings while at work to keep myself going. It wasn’t the ‘normal’ self-care that everyone talks about.
The hours, or days, that I must take to self-actualize and regenerate. It was 2 minutes here, 5 minutes there, 30 seconds on some days. It was catching my breath to ensure that I could keep working on the tasks at hand. It was the idea that, eventually, everything would right itself – it had to – and that the little stresses barely registered. I used what little time I had to sneak in sessions to just breathe and right my brain.
While the stress and schedule isn’t feasible in the long term, I now know that I can get through insanely busy and stressful times by sneaking in time for myself, even if it’s not as long as it normally is. And, because I finally have one, an extra session with my therapist. The ultimate self-care.
Juniper and Daisies 