Tag: relaxed

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migraine life

What Happened When I Stopped Meditating and Practicing Yoga

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I would’ve been the first to tell you that yoga is boring and meditating is garbage. But, the last couple of years brought on such severe migraines I was willing to try anything – if you told me that buying a pig and rubbing its belly every day would cure me, I’d do it. So, I looked into some de-stressing methods and more ‘holistic’ things to do for migraines and I found meditation and yoga to be at the top. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not for holistic medicine as a cure-all. I still take precautionary medicine to ward off migraines, but by using some of these tools in everyday life and making small changes, I could take the migraines from 15+ a month to 8 a month to 3 a month to ‘hey, I haven’t had one of those death days in a while’.

But, just like all good habits and good situations, they usually come to an end, or at least a pause. And, that’s what happened to me about a month ago. I was unemployed, I was practicing yoga every day, I was meditating before and after each practice (even if only for a few minutes) and I was getting things done. I was writing non-stop, I was cleaning the entire house, organizing and making it sparkle, I was taking on projects and crafting like an old lady. It was magical. And, then I felt lazy one day so I didn’t do my yoga. No biggie. But, then I felt lazy the next day and was busy so I skipped it, again. And, the next day was getting a bit crazy, so I said just some neck stretching. Then, I got a cold (for a day) and didn’t want to do anything. So, for over a week I barely did any yoga, zero meditation and started to eat junk food.

Now, eating at McDonald’s every once in a while isn’t going to cause your body to shut down, but eating tons of sweets and salt and all things terrible for you – even just for a week? It starts to do the body harm. You don’t need to be a doctor to know this; you can feel it. It was Christmas: the time to celebrate sweets! I shouldn’t feel guilty! So I indulged. Or, rather, overindulged. I’m not a nutritionist or a doctor, but I could feel my body rejecting my new lifestyle. I felt bloated and fat, I began to wonder why my make-up looked so terrible and if it was all the light’s fault in my bathroom …until I realized it was because I was puffy from the sodium I had been inhaling at top notch speeds.


I stopped writing, could barely get a word out, and all creativity felt like it had left me. I felt drained and exhausted and bored and restless all at once. And yet, I had no desire to do anything I once found so soothing and entertaining. I just wanted to sit and watch TV all day. Sure, there’s no harm in doing nothing but bingeing TV all day and night, it’s therapeutic after a long day, but an entire week where you do nothing all day but binge Hallmark Christmas movies and Korean shows? It doesn’t feel so good.

Finally, after over a week of nothingness, I decided to do some yoga. Because, I didn’t want to feel this gross and look puffy in every holiday picture out there. And, yes, those thoughts still jump into my brain all the time even though I’m still for body positivity. But, I could barely do anything. Happy Baby was basically just me rolling around on the ground grunting. But, the little movement my body did that night did me good. Because the next day I woke up earlier, I felt inspired.

I got to writing and planning and goal setting and I even did a yoga session. Albeit the writing was small, the planning and goal setting was quick and not as creative as it could’ve been, and the yoga session lasted about 20 minutes. But, I did it and felt great afterwards.

As I was ending my practice with a quick 30 second meditation (let’s not jump into this so hard right away), I could feel my mind wander and ideas come to me, words formed into sentences and into inspiration for stories to come. I wasn’t back to being content, I still felt restless and bored, but I could feel it bubbling up. This found-again excitement obviously didn’t just come from one and a half yoga practices and a minute of meditation. But, the calming of the mind helped quiet everything around me so I could hear that inner voice and listen to what it was trying to tell me.

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Life

Before you Reach for Those Greener Pastures, Make Sure They’re Actually Greener

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There’s been a sudden shift in the way people are viewing housing and lifestyles. We seem to be either going completely urban, easy to walk to everything, no need for a car, tons of nightlife, or we go the complete opposite and leave for bigger skies. A mad exodus from clogged up cities for small town living and country skies. You know, living the simple life. Which Paris and Nicole taught us isn’t so simple.

For me, it has been that simple. I love it. I love that people are waking up sleepy towns and making them thrive again, but is it actually right for them? For you?

It’s always the small town that wins over the heroine or hero in romance novels or blessedly typical Hallmark Christmas movies. The city is portrayed as the villain, the busyness of life worse than death. The picturesque towns look inviting and like it would win you over thousands of followers on Instagram in seconds, but there is a reason why people leave them for the city.

Living outside of the city comes with way less of those conveniences city life will have you accustomed to. It means no delivery, no app ordering, limited internet (until Elon Musk changes it all), and quiet — very quiet — nights.

For some, this sounds like a blissful oasis that they get to call their home. I’m that some. But, it was a huge adjustment to go from just picking up a little something on the way home to realizing that there arne’t too many options close by and I have to — gasp! — actually eat what’s in my fridge.

Country living, or even suburban living, isn’t for everyone. It takes a while to get home, there’s a lot less to do right around the corner. The lots are bigger, which means yay the lots are bigger! But, also means boo that’s more work.

No, buses dont run through (but they really should).

No, you won’t have a great grocery store, or one to begin with. It also means you won’t have a fancy cheese shop, a bakery (but plenty of old ladies who will be willing to teach you how to bake!), or a nice wine store.

Yeah, there may only be one bar and only a couple of restaurants.

Yeah, it may take you 5 minutes to drive through main street of town — and that’s hitting all the lights.

If that sounds like a nightmare, why move? Small town living has been romanticized, but it’s still the same as it always was. Boring, quiet, gossip-filled. That’s not going to change, even if people leave the city in droves for an idyllic life set amongst rolling hills and grazing cattle.

If you love open spaces, tractor meet-ups and jams, and crave slow mornings without Costco parking lots, small town living may be for you.

If you don’t care about clubbing or fancy restaurants or much of entertainment than the old dive bar and maybe a movie theater, if your town is big enough, then small town living may be for you.

But, if you’re going to miss these things, miss them from your regular weekend nights (taking the pandemic out of the equation), then why move? Why leave the things that make you most happy?

Maybe, instead of moving and looking for that simpler life, why not strive to live a simpler life where you still enjoy things? You can go simple by making changes to your life inside the city. You can get back in touch with nature with a garden, even if it’s small and hanging off a balcony or a windowsill. You can learn how to bake and cook, and go ‘old school’ with your way of thinking. You can take the things you like about country living, which might be the slow living bit, and do that from where you are. Live a little simpler, live a little slower, enjoy the little things. Make your life what you want it; you can do this without uprooting your whole life. Because that may not be the best option for you.

The same goes for jobs. We keep changing and switching things up, looking for better places that fit our needs, and that’s great. We should be trying to find the right fit for ourselves, we should be paid what we deserve to be, but what if that greener grass is more of a browny green? What if it’s filled with weeds and is kind of thorny? What if it looks good on paper and seemed great when you first went in and now it’s starting to feel a bit…blah? Are you still looking for even greener grass? Are you looking for that perfect, over-use of chemical golf-course green?

We keep pushing for things to be perfect, looking for that perfect work-life balance that we aren’t thinking about how to make it happen in our own worlds. Maybe living a simpler life is best before moving you and your whole family outside of the city. Maybe staying at the same job can still work if you asked for a raise or broach the subject of working from home. Maybe it won’t. But, it’s better to try living the life you want, where you are right now, before you reach for something that you’ve romanticized into a fairytale.

Why are we always chasing better things? Are they actually better? To some, of course they are. Just like to me living outside the city is much better than living inside, for a lot of people who move outside of the city for that ‘country living’ hate it. Because it’s not like the movies, it’s not like you would expect it to be. Everything isn’t necessarily better, it’s just different, and that’s what makes it better for some and worse for others.

Better for a lot of people means more bike paths and walking paths. While others would rather have roads fixed so that their drive isn’t a bumpy mess. I guess it’s why we don’t get to decide, exactly, where our money goes when we pay taxes. I would want to pay for different things than my friends and neighbours would want to pay for and they would want to pay for different things than their friends and neighbours would want to pay for. We’d never get anything done because we would be arguing too much about it, allocating too small amounts of money to each issue.

Moving to another city may be the perfect change for you; you may have gotten a better job, you may like the vibe much more, you may have better access to community events. It could also mean it won’t be good. And, that’s okay. People’s lives look different from one another’s, people’s interests are different from one another’s. We don’t all have to be chasing greener pastures; we can just sit here and realize that we, probably, have it pretty damn good where we are.

Categories
Life Mom Life

Why I Don’t Care if my House Looks Messy, Anymore

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Our home. Is there anything so wonderful and comfortable? The feeling of throwing yourself on your own bed with your own comfy blankets and pillows after travelling is one of the best feelings in the world. Sitting on the couch, snuggled in a nest of blankets and pillows (perhaps there’s a theme here at my house) reading or watching TV for hours on end is one of life’s greatest joys, even if it sounds so simple. Our houses are meant to be our safe space, our comfiest spots to relax and unwind after the stressors of dealing with the public, co-workers, the elements. 

So, why have we started to turn them into museums?

I used to gobble up home decor magazines like mad. My Pinterest page has boards specified to certain types of renovations or decorating tips, and others just for things I’ve found interesting. I won’t lie, a lot of them I don’t look at again, but it sure feels exciting to look at perfectly manicured houses with perfectly decorated walls and furniture. 

I’m the type of person who changes out their throw pillows in the spring, summer, fall, winter, and Christmas. I have seasonal tea towels and hand towels. I love decor that give you clues to what season it is. When we used to own a coffee table, I’d change out the decor that would sit in the middle when the weather started changing. It always ended up messed up and full of plates and cups as we lived our lives, pushing the centerpiece over when more space was needed, but I still maintained the idea that the coffee table needed to be beautifully decorated at all times. Because that’s all I saw on Pinterest and in magazines. 

My house needed to look picture-perfect like I had Better Homes and Gardens coming over to do a spread. 

Then, I had a baby. 

Yep. That old tale. 

I was exhausted and something had to give. It wasn’t going to be my time with my child, giving her the attention and care that she deserved and needed, so out went the floors. What used to be washed two to three times a week was now washed once a month. The dishes were done as often as needed simply so we would have things to cook with, and the laundry was the same. Our house got cluttered and messy and so very lived in. 

And, I realized that it didn’t really matter. Not one fucking bit. 

So, once we came out of that newborn stupor and things got a little easier as the months went by, and even easier over a year later, I changed my habits. The dishes are done more frequently, as is the laundry, but those floors? They’re now only washed once a week, instead of my favourited — at minimum — twice a week. 

There are cheerios stuck in every single corner or cranny of this house, no matter how often I sweep and vacuum. My living room is littered with toys and doesn’t look very Better Homes and Garden-esque even when they’re put away in a, reasonably, pleasing arrangement. Yet, it feels less stressful and better than before. Because we’re living. I’m not so hyper-focused on what my house looks like, anymore, as I choose to live my life instead of clean and place baubles so perfectly here and there. 

Yes, I made myself a cleaning list. Yes, I’ve started to add seasonal decor back into my life, again, but it’s not as obsessive as it used to be. I no longer stress about the fact that my door has no hanger or wreath on it in between Christmas and Spring, having to run out and find, or make, the perfect piece that fits in between that weird time where it’s still snowy, yet not as festive as December. It no longer matters. 

We spend far too much time trying to make our homes absolutely perfect, and yes, adding our own style and flair to the place makes it feel homier and more wonderful to come home to, but it still needs to fit our lifestyles. 
When we can’t enjoy ourselves, sitting comfy on the couch because we’re too busy worrying about whether or not the decor is perfectly centered, or if it’s not on trend, anymore, then what’s the point?

When we’re already so overworked everywhere in our lives, trying our best to do everything better than we did the day before and the generation before us, why are we adding more stress to ourselves? Why are we killing ourselves to have a picture-perfect house, especially if we have kids? Homes are meant to be lived in and comfortable. A few toys on the ground and a couple of dishes in the sink from yesterday’s supper isn’t going to ruin our lives. If anything, it’ll allow us to start to actually enjoy it.