christmas – Juniper and Daisies

The holidays can be a stressful time of year; there are parties to go to, nails and hair to get done, dresses to buy, presents to find, and still our regular day-to-day activities to do. That’s a lot in just a short month. Why do we do this to our self each and every year? If you haven’t yet learned how to say no to all those parties and get-togethers (it’s so much harder than you think!), then taking time for yourself will help you not lose your damn mind.

Meditate
Yes, this is on my list and everyone else’s self-care list and everything wonderful you can do by yourself because IT WORKS. I have high anxiety (have you noticed?) and severe migraines and just the simple act of breathing helps. But, sitting there and just breathing isn’t going to work.

Find a comfortable spot to sit so you’re either cross-legged (like on a yoga mat. If you have tight hips like I do, use a blanket, block, or bolster to get your hips off the ground and for a better feel) or sitting in a chair with your feet flat on the ground.

Put your palms face down on either of your knees.

Close your eyes and focus only on yourself.

Breathe in through your nostrils, letting your whole body fill with air. Breathe in deeply and slowly so that your stomach, chest and ribs expand to let in your breath.

Breathe out through your nostrils slowly, paying attention to how your chest will fall first, then your stomach.

Focus on your body filling with air, expanding and contracting as you let your breath out.

If you are having trouble focusing on your breath and need a little something extra to quiet your mind (believe me, it’s hard!), focus on a glowing orb in your body. As you breathe in, it travels up from your belly, up your spine and to your head. As you breathe out, it will travel down from your head to your chest, then your belly, again, completing a full circle.

Don’t worry if you can’t sit and focus only on your breathing. Some days are harder than others and it’s hard to focus inwards on your first try. Either set a timer to break you out of your meditation (go for a light alarm instead of the usual blasting one that gets you out of bed in the mornings) or breathe until you feel content, light, and relaxed.

Mask it Up
You’re stressed. So your skin is probably pissed at you and acting out in ways you thought were over when you were 16. This one works two-fold in self-care. You’re going to get the benefits of your face mask AND the benefits of sitting still and relaxing as you let that beautiful clay sink into your skin. Double up your relaxation by adding that mask to your face when you’re in a bath. I’ve been taking baths 2-3x a week, now, instead of showers and I’m feeling so good. It gives me 20 minutes by myself (before my daughter comes screaming in demanding her bath), I add Epsom salts for my muscles and migraines, and read.

Read
Before you go thinking this is a dumb way to self-care, hear me out! When was the last time you picked up a book and read it just for fun? Some of you are probably saying ‘duh, like every day’ while a lot of you are failing to make eye contact. Guaranteed you’re either working your butt off to shatter those glass ceilings, making sure your house doesn’t fall apart, watching Netflix, or scrolling through your phone. None of those things are at ALL relaxing. Hello, have we heard of this fucked up thing called blue-light? Listen, ever since I started my evening routine, I’ve started feeling way more relaxed and calm, letting me fall asleep earlier, faster and better. What’s a major part of that evening routine? Reading!

Grab a book and start reading. It’ll make you sit down and concentrate on only ONE THING, the book in front of you. If you’re finding that you’re re-reading sentences more than once and not understanding what’s going on (free pass if you’re reading Tolstoy…does anyone ever know what’s going on there?), head on back up to the first tip and grab a meditation session to clear your head.

Take 5 Minutes
Just five minutes! That’s barely any time at all! Take those five minutes, whenever you feel the most need for them. Whether it’s sitting and enjoying your coffee in the morning, instead of chugging it down, reading an article you normally wouldn’t indulge in, a really quick yoga practice, or simply just calling someone you love (although, this could end up being way more than 5 minutes). Take the 5 minutes to indulge in yourself.

Walk or Exercise
Yeah, I know it’s cold out and it’s not the time to go gallivanting in a forest (except it’s so beautiful!). But! Getting outside into that fresh air will make you feel so much better about everything around you. Simply going for a walk around the block, out into your yard, or for a full day’s hike in nature will set you back to that feeling of quiet content. Often, just standing on my deck and taking in a few big, deep, mindful breaths gets me feeling right again.

There’s just something about a Hallmark Christmas movie that makes my heart melt. Yes, the writing is awkward. Yes, it’s incredibly cheesey. Yes, it’s completely hard to believe that people are lounging in their homes with the cutest outfits on and not in old pajama pants and a T-shirt that has seen better days. But, Hallmark Christmas movies are some of my absolute favourite movies.

When there are so many movies that are trying too hard, Hallmark is what it is. There is no trying to impress, no pretentious feeling plot, no stop and think moments. They’re there to get you into the Christmas spirit, to lift you up from a bad day, or a bad week, to bring you and your friends together for some wine and hot chocolate and snuggly nights spent on the couch watching movies that feel good. And, if you feel bad about watching them, give my article on why you shouldn’t a read.

Every Hallmark Christmas movie has a happy ending. While most movies have some sort of happy ending, Hallmark Christmas movies are always the happiest. They get what they always wanted, or never knew they wanted, and suddenly everything falls into place. Is this what happens in real life? No. That’s why it’s a movie. That’s why they’re so beloved and watched by so many. We need happy endings (pardon the double entendre) in our lives because life doesn’t have a magical happy ending.

Life isn’t fixed when you fall in love. It isn’t fixed when you move to a small, beautiful, wintery small town. It isn’t fixed when you quit your job to explore your passions. In a Hallmark Christmas movie, it is. It gives you hope for what can be, even though, deep down, you know it won’t work out that way. At least, not right away.

While some may look to Hallmark Christmas movies as bullshit that leads us further down the path away from feminism, I call bullshit on that excuse. They’re wholesome movies in a way that grown-ups, mostly grown women, can relate to. We all yearn to be happy and loved and feel safe. That may look different for everyone, but it’s safe to say that people want those three things. Hallmark Christmas movies give you those things. They make you feel happy, loved, and safe, even as you’re rolling your eyes at how the two characters just happen to fall into one another’s arms while baking cookies.

They’re the fairytale endings that we aren’t supposed to like and strive for because we are strong, independent women. But, doesn’t everyone strive for a fairytale ending? That ending may include a killer career and independence, but it may also include someone who loves and cares for you (hetero or otherwise), even if that includes friends who turn into family or family that turns into friends. It can also just mean falling in love and living happily ever after, because in a world that should be equal and feminist, it’s okay to want those things, too.

Fairytale endings aren’t real life, so why not escape for a couple of hours where everyone gets that fairytale ending, that perfect life, the white picket fence without the Stepford vibes. Get off your high horse and grab a peppermint hot chocolate and indulge your inner princess (or prince).