Or, is it just a Millennial thing?
Am I doing too much? Or, not enough? These two thoughts bounce around my head constantly. Whether it comes to parenting, managing the house, or my own personal work projects. Creative projects, sorry.
Sometimes, or rather, most of the time, it feels like I’m drowning in everything that I have to do. Splitting time up between moming, keep the house somewhat clean and organized, doing a little bit of work, doing a little bit of something I like to do to relax, and trying to keep up with this crazy world we call the internet.
When I first started blogging, it seemed so simple, so easy. I started making okay money on Medium, thinking I’ll run into some pretty-damn-good-let’s-quit-my-job money. That, obviously, did not happen. Because, the writing world exploded with people who didn’t care about writing, but cared about clickbait and made a living that way. Not for me.
Anyways.
Everything seemed so simple back then. I was freelancing and making some money. I had a job that was paying me decent. I didn’t have a child. I had tons of freedom, time, and disposable income. Now, I’m in a very different situation. Living my life as a stay at home mom, yet trying to do a bit of writing on the side and make a little bit of an income. Because being poor? I’m not into it. Not for me. I want that disposable income.
So, I’m trying everything, all at once. I scrapped my old blog, and started a new one (this bad boy you’re reading on) for the only reason because the first didn’t serve me, anymore. I threw away subscribers and followers and page views that were careening towards really great. I was making a small amount of money from my blog, and yet I didn’t care. It wasn’t for me, anymore, so I switched gears. I made 0.001cents four months ago. That’s it. I know it’s a long-game when you’re not writing clickbait, so I can breathe without passing out. But, it’s a pain in the ass.
I’ve also decided to take on personal writing projects and a bit of freelancing. I published a baby book with my friend as the illustrator , and then we published two more. (yes, hello, here is a link to all of them if you are so inclined to buy a copy)
While some may say that sounds like enough, I decided that it wasn’t and I’ve started a business with my friend, who also illustrated those children’s books. Curious as to what it is? Go have a look at Juniper and Oak Editing! I’m sure I’ll be talking about it more.
In the gig economy and reach for your stars motivation of Instagram and wherever else people get their information and jealousy from, the above sounds standard. Some days, it feels great. I’ve found that putting in tons of time into Medium gives me dick all, so I’ve stopped that. It’s now a place where I just word vomit and that’s enough for me.
My blog, my personal writing projects, those are for me. I’m writing them for people to connect with my words, for people to enjoy my content, not to explicitly make money (I mean, that’d be nice, right?). They feel like the ultimate side gig, though. Something that makes me happy, but can generate money.
So, why not add a business onto my busy-enough life? Seems logical.
From what I’ve been seeing on Instagram, the week later Tik Tok, it seems like this type of thinking is engrained in our Millennial brains. Boomers be off booming. Gen X works hard, but also plays hard. Gen Z has learned the true meaning of boundaries. And, Millennials? Well, we’re stuck at the office cleaning up everyone else’s mess while the media says we’re the ones making it. We’re there to never say no, as our parents taught us not to ‘rock the boat’ and hold a strong work ethic.
But, what happens when that strong work ethic is a bit too strong? That we want to people please, and do a great job, and be the first one in the office, and follow our dreams, and have some peaceful mental health, and go on great vacations? Burn. Out.
I’ve written about this before, but it was always about everything in life.
Now? What is this burn out that I’m feeling? It feels different than before because it doesn’t just hit every couple of weeks, but every damn day. I could easily say it’s probably something neurodivergent because the obsessive is slamming with the manic and it’s an absolute riot in my brain, but that’s not the whole story.
I feel like I’m not doing enough even though I’m doing absolutely everything I can. My friends, similar ages, feel like they’re not doing enough even though they’re doing absolutely everything they can. Moms in mom groups feel like they’re not doing enough even though they’re doing absolutely everything they can.
Perhaps it’s less of a Millennial thing and more of a female thing? Because what do you get when people are born at a time when there were strong gendered roles in the world, but also at a time of the emergence of more independent women, superhero women who can do it all, and the slow shy away from specified gendered roles? Women who feel like they should be able to do it all, and do it all alone, while still shouldering most of the ‘female specified’ roles in the household, child or not.
Maybe it’s time to take a page out of a Gen Zer and say ‘no, thanks’ to a few more things. Set more boundaries. Know that I can do it all, but for only a short amount of time, and anyone saying they can is kidding themselves, or missing a key piece of life. We always see rich older gentlemen in movies sitting on a pile of wealth, but less memories with families. They have it all in a money sense, but not the whole picture, and they can afford assistants and chefs and maids.
So, what’s a person to do who cannot afford such things? Starting building those walls.
And, no, not like that.
Put up those walls to form a few boundaries. Know that we don’t need to keep working every second of the day. Know that, while it feels like we didn’t do much in the day, it adds up to a whole hell of a lot. Know that a single work day doesn’t need to cram 10–12 hours of work into 5 hours. Know that we can take breaks and breathe and take a fucking step back.
Know that, while we can have strong work ethics and work hard, we can also have less toxic environments, even if they’re the environments we have created for ourselves in our heads. Because working longer, faster, harder all the time doesn’t get you everything in the end. It just gets you burned the fuck out.
Juniper and Daisies 