When we decided to go on a trip to France with our 11 month old, it didn’t seem crazy or strange. It felt normal. I wanted to go on a trip, had been waiting for a time to come when we could travel safely and freely, again, and had felt pent up after two years of staying inside or close to home. Wanting a cute family trip, we picked France due to the amazing rate I found on an apartment overlooking the sea in Antibes, and the fact that we felt comfortable there. While it felt normal to go on a trip with a baby, I wasn’t ready to jet off to Morocco with one.
Travelling with a baby is hard and stressful at times, but it’s also a wonderful journey with your little one you’ll never forget. It doesn’t matter that they won’t remember it — some things you just do for yourself. Besides, the photo of my daughter sitting in the Mediterranean Sea or frolicking in front of the Eiffel Tower are some of my favourites. The memory of sitting with her in a cafe while it lightly rained outside is one I’ll never forget. It never concerned me about what we would do once we got to France, never concerned me that we would have to buy diapers there or formula or take it a little low. What concerned me was the flight.
After following numerous baby/family travel accounts on Instagram and researching everything I needed to know about bringing an infant on a plane, I felt confident in what we needed, but felt more anxiety than I had in a long time. I felt like crying thinking about people getting angry and making huffing comments to me about my child and my lack of respect towards them. The same type of people who would talk loudly while everyone slept or take up more than their fair share of space or recline their seat the second they’re in the air, I’m sure. I read all sorts of horrible things that people said about babies being on flights, essentially meaning that babies should be no where near humans or civilization until they are — at least — 8 years old and can sit quiet for a while, content with an activity book.
I was ready to be awake the entire flight, knowing that I’d be exhausted, but not wanting to be that asshole with a crying baby for the entirety of the flight. I brought so many snacks and toys and everything we would need, cramming in every last piece until our suitcases were about to explode. I readied myself for horrific comments, knowing I’d bite back with something scathing yet cry in the bathroom later.
So, when I boarded that plane with baby, I was surprised when the flight attendants smiled at her, entertained by her winning smile and all around adorable 11 month shenangins. On our first flight, a short-haul, no one seemed to bat an eye at the fact that a baby was sitting near them. No one made any comments, no one screamed at us. I breathed a sigh of relief and actually enjoyed those two hours in the air as my daughter ate her snacks, played with her toys, and then napped contently in my arms.
After hours spent in an airport lounge trying to get her giggles and energy out while eating as much as we could without feeling lethargic and icky, we boarded our second flight, a 9-hour long-haul. I was feeling much more at ease with a baby on a plane after having experienced it, even if it was short. Even though I was feeling pretty decent, the people around us may not have. As we boarded the plane, turning left into the premium economy cabin I had been adamant on (more room for baby, food constantly, great post-pandemic deal) I could see the stress and horror run across the faces of those who had paid more for a — hopefully — quieter and roomier flight. I didn’t blame them. Flying for 9 hours can be annoying and exhausting enough; no one would want to deal with a screaming baby for those 9 hours.
But, here’s the thing. A baby will — most likely — not scream for those 9 hours. They will maybe cry on take-off and landing if they refuse the breast, bottle, or snacks and water to help with their ears. They will maybe cry if they’re hungry. They may be a bit fussy and whiney every so often, but it is unlikely that they will scream for that long with no end in sight. And, with the right tools on your journey, you can cut all of that down to nil or very little.
I will admit, feeling the people around us tense up at seeing our baby happily boarding the plane, looking excitedly at everyone and everything, had my anxiety flare up. But, I held strong on feeling okay with it. Babies are allowed to be in public, and even though people act like this isn’t true, an airplane is public transportation. It is just a giant bus in the sky. Was I on edge a little more whenever she let out a peep? Of course. I always am when we are in public. But, I’d remain calm and calm her, getting what she needed to be happy and content. The flight attendant was amazing and so helpful, giving us extra tips and tricks and letting us know the best way to eat in peace.
At the end of that flight, the man across from us told us how amazing she was the entire flight as he took his luggage down from the overhead compartment. I beamed with pride, feeling like we had won family travelling, but if it wasn’t for the fact that babies needed to be ‘good’ and perfectly silent when in public, I never would have felt that anxiety or stress that society places on moms and babies.
Boarding a plane with a baby will be anxiety inducing every single time, even if you’re feeling pretty relaxed. There’s always that chance that absolutely everything will go wrong and there will be nothing you can do to stem the flow of pure shit — both literally and figuratively. As a society, we all have to remember that babies are part of our society and allowed to be out, too. Shutting up parents for years just so babies can look a part is cruel. If we remember this, maybe this anxiety will lessen and over time, become obsolete. A travelling mom can only hope.
Juniper and Daisies 